Kyle Schwarber Is Officially Back

Okay so maybe not until he gets over the Mendoza Line (currently hitting .187). But at the same time I’m not doing my job if I don’t rally around a massive yabo like the one Bronson Arroyo served up to Schwarber last night. That’s what my guy @StoolFrederic likes to a call a nice meaty dickball. A 74 mph hanging change right down broadway. You literally could not tee up a pitch to go 465 feet any better than that.

On an extremely related note, the Cubs scored 9 runs last night. That’s the most runs the club has scored since April 24th, or 19 straight games. It doesn’t matter how much the wind is blowing out, or that the entire lineup is due to explode, or that a 42 year-old Arroyo is on the mound. 9 runs is 9 runs, and I’ll take it any way I can get it.

Tonight features the triumphant return of Scott Feldman for game 2 with Cincinnati. He should receive nothing less than the most obnoxious standing ovation Wrigley can muster because his 2014 1st half is directly responsible for everything Jake Arrieta’s contributed to this franchise. Sometimes when I have a tough day, I like to think of Scott Feldman getting shelled in a Baltimore Orioles uniform. I think of his mediocre fastball running over the heart of the plate and getting crushed off a Russian satellite. And then I remember Jake’s run of winning 23 of 24 straight starts including 2 no-hitters and a Cy Young. Welcome back, Scott.

Finally, tonight’s lineup:

We win one tonight, thats TWO in a row. Win one tomorrow, that’s called a winning streak. It has happened before.

PS – I’ve watched this GIF no less than a million times today.