The Barstool Golf Time App | Book Tee Times and Earn Free Barstool Golf MerchDOWNLOAD NOW

Pregnant and Constipated Florida Woman Stuffs Her Brassiere With Meth

Screen Shot 2017-05-16 at 11.23.58 AM

A deputy stopped a woman driving a pickup truck April 28 after noticing she wasn’t wearing a seatbelt.

She pulled into a home on Second Street Southwest in Vero Beach. The deputy asked for her license. She said it was inside the home, which she said belonged to her grandmother.

She identified herself as Holly Smith, but the deputy recognized her as Christina Sarao because the deputy has “had prior interactions with her.”

Sarao hopped out of the truck and started running, and the deputy caught her.

“I have to poop and I’m pregnant!” Sarao is quoted as yelling.

Investigators determined Sarao had three warrants, along with methamphetamine and a pipe in her brassiere.

“I asked her where she got the meth from and she stated down the road at a yard sale,” the affidavit states.

First of all, that was a click-bait title. Sorry about that. I don’t know for sure that young Holly is constipated. That was a judgment call by me and it appears as though the facts are contrary to that statement. My apologies.

I have often thought about the best excuses for getting out of a speeding ticket. Seems like needing to go to the bathroom is as good as any. I believe Holly. I don’t know why but I do. I can see being meth’d up and pregnant. Stressful to say the least. Next thing you know you are being questioned by the police while you have meth shoved between your tits like a dick on a casual Thursday. Love to titty fuck. Anyway, all those things start happening at one time and you get a little stressed out. Things tighten up. Begin to move. Good lord… where is this blog going? Poop again? Can’t be.

What happens when you squeeze on a toothpaste tube? Buddy, stuff comes out! Sadly, that was beginning to happen to poor Holly. Her bottom was turning into a tube of Colgate so fast it made her sprint from the cops. The last thing you need when you are getting arrested for buying meth at a yard sale and stuffing your bra with said meth is some asshole like me writing a blog about how you shit yourself too. Good on Holly. She saved some self-respect. Gotta admire her for that.