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Clyde Frazier Will Represent The Knicks At The Lottery Tomorrow Night And I've Never Been More Confident Of A Lottery Drawing In My Life

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Did the Knicks just win the lottery? Should we get Markelle Fultz on the phone? Or should the Knicks draft Lonzo Ball just so they can watch the world burn as Lavar Ball does Lavar Ball stuff in New York? For years I’ve been waiting for a sign that the Knicks are ready to move out of the dark days and into the light. I thought that sign would a James Dolan heart attack or something of the sort. But this is the next best thing. Having Clyde rep the Knicks is good juju through the roof. Going from a morose motherfucker like this

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To an electric factory like this

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is the biggest upgrade in Knicks if not NBA history. It’s hard to find a person more beloved by his fanbase than Walt “Clyde” Frazier. The Hall of Fame career. The incredible vernacular. Actually being able to win two titles for this cursed franchise. And the suits. Oh my God the suits. I don’t know what Clyde has in store for us tomorrow, but I expect a suit that blows everyone at the lottery out of the water. Shit, it would have blown everyone at the Met Gala out of the water. Clyde either has to go cow suit or some new threads that the world has never seen before. The Patrick Ewing lottery is known for the “frozen envelope” lottery. This lottery will be known as the “frozen ball lottery” since Clyde is so cool those ping pong balls are going to freeze up for the Knicks when they are beginning to percolate in that cylinder thingy. I mean take a quick look at who else is repping teams tomorrow night.

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Nobody on that list scares me except Magic and JoJo Embiid. Magic because his smile works on everything under the sun, from chicks to businessmen to goddamn diseases. So it can clearly work on ping pong balls. And JoJo Embiid just because he is a content machine and winning the lottery would be the shot in the arm needed to get the long-awaited JoJo, Jojo, jojo, and JoJo show off the ground. If the Nets had to send a rep for their pick that was being sent to the Celtics, I would have been scared they would send Charles Oakley to scare the lottery balls away from the Knicks. Instead Oak is getting ready for his coaching debut in the Big 3 as Clyde is getting ready to win the lottery and then take home all of the other representatives girls with that relentless charm and swagger. A huge win for a franchise that does not get many of them.

And I’m not sure if this has been announced yet, but we are going to do a Facebook Live of myself and the fans of the other shitty lottery teams (and the Celts, fuck you Coley) watching the Lottery go down. Lets just say that having Clyde in my corner makes me feel MUCH better about what will play out in real time. There is no way everything can backfire in Knicks fans faces!