Trump Is In A Classic High School Breakup With James Comey

Ohhh baby, what a classic post-breakup message this is. Threatening the shit out of your ex with some “tapes” of the two of you. Bad boy DJT pulling no punches. Is he bluffing? Was he filming us that whole time? Did I consent to it while I was drunk? Comey’s brain must be Peter Cherning to remember what precisely was said, what precisely was done, how incriminating it could be.

It’s been said on here many times — there’s no win more important than the post-breakup win. You simply cannot lose and folks will go to the ends of the earth to get that win. You’ll scour social media accounts. You’ll pull old tapes. You’ll ruin friendships. Family members aren’t off limits. It’s anything and everything it takes to win that breakup and we’re seeing Trump exemplify that fact with his old pal James Comey (by pal I mean FBI Director who was investigating him and his team for sleeping with zee Russians).

PS — How much do you think Comey regrets sending that letter 11 days before the election?

PPS — Also we’re replacing press briefers with pieces of paper now. Shots fired Spicer. Accuracy!