Kelvin Gastelum's Last Win Has Been Overturned Because He Smoked A Little Pot

ESPN- UFC middleweight Kelvin Gastelum has been suspended 90 days for testing positive for marijuana metabolites around his most recent fight on March 11 in Fortaleza, Brazil.

Gastelum (12-3) failed a fight-night drug test shortly after a first-round knockout win over Vitor Belfort. In addition to the three-month suspension, the Brazilian Superior Justice Court of MMA (STJDMMA) fined Gastelum 20 percent of his undisclosed purse and changed the result of his fight against Belfort to a no-contest.

This is lunacy. No sport exposes the athletic commissions around the world as bigger rule hardo idiots quite like MMA. Kelvin Gastelum absolutely murdered Vitor Belfort back in March. Take a look for yourself…

So now, because a drug test revealed he may have smoked pot that night, that gif above is irrelevant. That’s a no contest, not a win. The athletic commission in Brazil, STJDMMA (get a longer acronym bro, I dare ya), is saying that if Kelvin wasn’t under the influence of weed, that may not happen. They’re claiming weed muscles…and people are outraged. Did we not learn our lesson with Nick Diaz? You don’t wanna fuck with the weed people in 2017! They’re savages, they band together like crazy to defend their sacred devil’s lettuce. I don’t really blame them, either. Not a weed guy myself, but you try to outlaw a vice I use every day like jerking off, I’d be pis-actually I’d be able to deal with that for like a month.

Weed is about to be legal everywhere though, so let’s just legalize it in sports. Who gives a shit? We’re mixing weight classes and booking circus fights. Is this really what Brazil has to be concerned about? In Japan they let roided up freaks murder each other in a ring, but in Brazil, the drug capital of the world, you can’t dabble in hashish? C’mon man.