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Fidget Spinners Are The Hottest Toys On The Planet And I Am Now Fully Addicted To Mine

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CNN- If you know a middle school kid, or a parent or teacher of one, chances are you’ve seen the simple little colorful device that’s driving them all crazy lately. It’s called a fidget spinner, and even its name gives you a clue as to why some classrooms are banning them — and some toy stores are selling out. The toy is the latest craze to sweep the globe, but it actually has a really interesting history as an educational tool.

What is it?

A fidget spinner is considered to be a type of fidget toy; a low profile, handheld device that people can, well, fidget with without making a big scene. A fidget spinner has a stable middle and a disc with two or three paddles that can be spun, much like a ceiling fan. The result is supposed to be relaxing and satisfying, and really good spinners can keep going for minutes at a time.
The little devices were originally designed to help students with attention disorders like ADD — expert say having something to occupy their hands may help improve concentration. However, the spinners caught on with the general population, and now come in every color and finish imaginable, with add-ons and doo-hickeys galore.

So I’m not sure how many people outside of the #GoPresGo crowd know of or have heard of these fidget spinners. Basically they are one of the most basic toys in the world. They are shaped like the flux capacitor or a cock and balls, depending how you look at it. You know what you do with fidget spinners? You spin them. Literally that’s it. Fingers in the middle and spin them wherever you want. That is it. I’m sure some light up or make sounds. But that’s it. They just spin.

They have also become the crux of countless teachers’ lives. All of my teacher friends say they have multiple spinners in their desks because their students can’t stop spinning them in class.

Real bad boy shit.

To further complicate matters, doctors have said that these spinners help people with ADD, ADHD, autism and other issues cope with their issues while at school. So if you take these spinners away, you are basically barreling into someone’s safe space and pissing on their rug that ties the room together. Toy stores can’t keep these things in stock and everyone from gas stations to Wal-Mart, to NYC street vendors are slinging these fucking things. They are the pogs of 2017. Tamagotchi ain’t got shit on fidget spinners. Furby can suck the proverbial fidget spinner’s dick.

As the youngest not the oldest person on Barstool’s content side, I decided to investigate this phenomenon myself. I went to the closest 7-Eleven and plopped down $8 for something I would guess was $1 before this craze blew up.

This is my spinner. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my spinner is useless. Without my spinner, I am useless.

What do you do with the spinner? Spin it. Literally that’s it. Put two fingers in the middle and send it for a ride like it’s the Price Is Right wheel. Along the way I taught myself some tricks so I can fit in with the youth.

We have the Dutch Master

The Spin ‘N’ Steer

The Darty & Bullshit

Buy your Darty merch now!

And my favorite, the #MayThe4thBeWithYou

So after having this Fidget Spinner for about 24 hours, let me say I can COMPLETELY understand why kids love this shit. It started as content, but now I am flat out addicted. Like Big Cat and PFT with vaping but a billion times healthier. I am hooked to #FidgetLife. Writing this blog took me about a full hour because I needed to spin my spinner. My Twitter addiction is cured because the part of my brain that causes me to constantly click to check, scroll, and recheck Twitter is now being used to spin some small little gear over and over and over. I didn’t notice, but I was getting my revolutions in (little Fidget lingo for spinning) the entire time we recorded Podfathers today. Instead of ignoring my kid because I am staring at my phone, I now ignore my kid because I am spinning a toy.

Plus now I have a #SpinSquad slowly forming.

SQUADDDDDDDD.

And this trick blew my mind.

I can’t try a trick like this yet because a blogger’s fingers are his life line and I am not ready for that type of velo from two spinners.

TL;DR- I’m all-in on fidget spinners. Buy, buy, buy all the fidget spinner stock on the planet. How there isn’t a Barstool spinner is wild to me. If Pres wants another Nantucket house, he needs to get on this ASAP.