Dude Asks For A Gluten-Free Meal For A Nine-Hour Flight, Gets Served A Banana

Daily Mail- A passenger who ordered a gluten-free meal on a nine-hour flight was left stunned when he was given one banana for breakfast. Martin Pavelka, of east London, has coeliac disease which means he cannot eat products containing gluten without becoming violently ill. The 32-year-old said he ‘could not believe his eyes’ when he received the fruit – which had a ‘gluten-free’ sticker on it – on his All Nippon Airways flight from Tokyo to Sydney while other passengers were eating a full English breakfast. Mr Pavelka, an auditor, was midway through a £1,200 flight to Australia and said he always orders gluten-free meals on flights and had never had a problem before. He told the Evening Standard: ‘When the stewardess came to me, she said “We’ve got a special meal for you” and I got the banana. ‘I asked “Is this a joke?” She just said “I’m really sorry, that’s the gluten-free meal”.’

You know what? Good. No story has ever made me happier in fact. I hope he starved the entire flight and learned a valuable lesson in the process. Fuck these gluten-free people. You’re damn right we just entered Get Off My Lawn territory. Eat like the rest of us, you pretentious idiots. You know what didn’t exist in the 1930s? Gluten allergies. I made that up but I guarantee that it’s true. Nobody during The Great Depression was saying, “Uhh no thanks. I don’t eat bread.” They were eating everything they could cause they didn’t know where their next meal was coming from. Again, I’m making all of this up on the fly but it’s probably true. Gluten allergies are strictly a 2015-and-on problem. It’s a thing that exists because everything is too awesome and people need something to complain about. That’s all it is. The world could be perfect and people would complain about how perfect it is. Gluten allergies are an extension of that. Calm down, live a little and eat a muffin.