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Philadelphia Has Officially Lost Its War Against Kids On Bicycles

For those of you who have no idea what I’m talking about, there has been a war going on for years between teens on bikes and the city of Philadelphia. Years. I’d say the tipping point was about 5 years ago when Meek Mill was first getting big and really brought Bike Life in to the spotlight.

Since then, there was the trickle down effect from dirt bikes and ATVs to actual bicycles. And anybody who has ever driven in the city in the past 5 years knows that you can’t go anywhere without at least one little snot nosed brat begging you to run him over while he’s doing wheelies in and out of traffic. It doesn’t matter where you’re at. You could be on G & Allegheny. You could be on Broad Street. Or, as we just saw, you could be on 76. The streets belong to the Children of the Corn now. That was a decisive victory for the little bastards. That had to have been a thousand kids just in that video alone. Who knows how long it could have gone on for.

But for real, these kids are fucking terrifying. They have zero fear whatsoever. They think they’re invincible so now you’ve got an army of children taking over the city who are under the impression that they’re never going to die. But maybe this will be a turning point in the battle. Maybe this is what it will take for motorists to wake up and realize we are in the middle of a war. Because we are fighting for our right to live. To exist. We will not go quietly into the night. We will not vanish without a fight. We’re going to live on. We’re going to survive. Today… we celebrate our Independence Day.

– Bill Pullman.

@BarstoolJordie