This Dickhead Should Probably Wear A Hat

I’m against bullying. I am. But come on. This fella knows that his head looks like a penis. It has his entire life. You can’t just meander into a local Denny’s, sit down to order a well-done steak with a side of hashbrowns, and leave the waitress a 5-percent tip because “it’s breakfast. 15-percent tips are for dinner only” and expect me not to blog about your head. I’ll blog about your head so fast it’ll make your scalp piss.

It’s such a dickhead move to flaunt your dickhead while other people are eating, too. No one wants to eat while there’s a loose dick in the room. A free-ranging vagina is fine. I can eat while there is a vagina exposed but not a penis. Penises just flopping about in the wind while I’m eating a salad won’t work.

I don’t know why you’d shave your head if that’s the way you looked. Unless the process of putting lotion all over it just feels really good. I could see that. You just rub the lotion on in a firm, yet gentle way all over the top of the head but really just focus on the area behind your ears. That’d be nice.