Clark The Cub Makes His First Public Appearance, Still Hasn't Found His Pants

(Source) Clark the Cub, the Chicago Cubs‘ new family-friendly mascot, was unleashed on a group of children at Advocate Illinois Masonic Medical Center’s pediatric developmental center Monday night and, judging from the photos and video, the pantsless furry is off to a rousing start.

Fucking Ricketts. Big time hard ball play. Oh you don’t like Clark the Cub, ok well we made him so that he can go brighten the spirits of sick children and make them happy. You maniac Tom. You just used a bunch of children to make us all like your dumb mascot. You forced Clark the Cub on us. That’s what happened. I’m Team Clark now. I don’t want to be, but I have no choice. Either youre Team Clark or youre team Kid Cancer and none of us are team Kid Cancer. Welcome aboard Clark, you rat bastard.

I half expected to wake up this morning and have Clark the Cub be one big joke. Like, haha guys, wasn’t that funny when everyone in the world laughed at us for our fake mascot. We totally got them!

Nope, it’s real life. The Cubs biggest offseason signing in years was a fucking furry. God Dammit.