Wowowowow. I have to admit that I was in the “Kate Upton has lost her fastball” camp with KFC and a bunch of other people. I’m not saying she’s not hot or anything, but she wasn’t a rocketship like she was when she burst on the scene doing the Dougie or the Cat Daddy. But this little snippet has me thinking she had Tommy John surgery in the offseason or some shit and may be able to touch 98 MPH again. That little 15 second snippet wasn’t a lot, but it definitely got the thought of In Her Prime Kate Upton tattooed into my brain. Holy moly. Lip Sync Battle just became Must Watch on Thursday night (or I’ll probably forget because of all the other sports/TV shows and watch the full clip of her dancing on Friday morning like the rest of the universe). Shit, I may try to trade for Justin Verlander in my fantasy league after seeing that video.
However, there is also a chance that wearing a Catholic schoolgirl outfit and/or dancing to “Baby One More Time” is the perfect hotness PED. Something so strong, even Cousin Yuri probably wouldn’t be able to get ahold of it. I’m pretty sure whatever triggers in my dumb brain instantly associate anybody involved with those two things as being insanely hot. I’m not saying you could throw Lena Dunham in a situation like that and get heart emojis in your eyes, but it would probably work with most girls. So maybe Kate still gets by on low-90s cheddar and this video disguised it with some tricky editing. Or maybe she’s #back. I’m not sure. But the proof will be in the pudding when this episode airs. And don’t think I forgot about you, Ricky Martin. I know you are still an absolute showstopper all these years later. I will be watching your performance right after I watch Kate’s.
Oh yeah, and for anyone I triggered with that Lena Dunham imaginary visual, here are some videos of Kate Upton in her prime as an apology.