I know more about quantum physics than I know about the NBA and I won’t pretend otherwise. I know Harden and Westbrook is the hot debate for MVP and I know that only because I follow Tyler and Coley on Twitter (shoutout Mickstape. Smash that subscribe button).
But here’s what I know about MVP voting in general: it doesn’t often enough take intangibles into account. Everything is about gaudy stats and flashy numbers but no one factors in extraordinarily important things like leadership. That’s where Lebron James is the king in the 2016-2017 season. I’m not talking about actual leadership or anything of the like, I don’t know anything about the NBA and I think I’ve mentioned that, Lebron’s intangibles are greater than that: he’s got a Thong Song remix for him.
That’s as you good a campaign as you can have. Fuck multi-million dollar media fellating and begging, just have Sisqo hop in the booth and remix the HOTTEST song in history for you. That’s what gets you my MVP vote. Luckily I hadn’t sent in my ballot yet.