The 2017 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs start tonight and I have something that I’ve been thinking for a while but finally ready to put down into words. I know that this is going to catch me a ton of flack. I know that it’s an unpopular opinion and one that is most likely going to be met with plenty of resistance. But screw it. I’m gonna go ahead and say it anyway. Because contrary to popular belief, Lord Stanley’s Cup is actually the greatest trophy in all of sports.
*waits for everybody to be done gasping*
Yes. There. I said it. And I’ll say it again if I have to. I mean, I get why people are so infatuated with the Larry O’Brien Trophy. It’s a basketball hanging off a 32 oz. cup of soda all coated in gold. What’s not to love about that? And the Lombardi Trophy? Woooooo baby. Don’t even get me started. I mean, anytime you have a chance to win a silver football on top of a silver traffic cone, you have to take it. And then there’s the Commissioner’s Trophy. Truly one of the most dangerous trophies in all of sports. Really makes you feel alive knowing that at any time whilst holding it, you could potentially poke your eye out. So yeah, I get that the Stanley Cup has some steep competition to go up against. And I understand why it has been left by the wayside to all the other pinnacles of athletic success. But I’m here today to say the time has come for the Stanley Cup to overtake that #1 spot in the Trophy Power Rankings.
You can drink out of the Stanley Cup.
You can put very good babies in the Stanley Cup.
You can enjoy a delicious and nutritious breakfast out of the Stanley Cup.
And most importantly… you can make the Stanley Cup out of bacon.
For those of you keeping score at home–that’s Stanley Cup 4, every other trophy in the world 0.
So now here we are. April 12th in the year of our lord 2017. The Stanley Cup Playoffs are officially underway and 16 wins separate one team from hoisting the Cup over their heads. Quite the time to be alive, if I do say so myself.
P.S. – Only other trophy that comes close to the Stanley Cup is the trophy me and the boys won last night. Beer League Heroes season finally coming soon. Ferda.