Nobody Really Believes That Dustin Johnson Just “Fell Down the Stairs” And Missed The Masters Right?

Umm am I the only one talking about this Dustin Johnson injury? I’m not talking about the fact he withdrew, but how blatantly obvious it is he’s lying about what happened. There is NO chance Dustin Johnson just fell down the stairs and missed the Masters. They are making it sound like he slipped on a god damn banana peel like a cartoon character. Grown men don’t just fall down stairs and get hurt that bad. It just doesn’t happen. I mean the Masters has been going on for 100 years? Has any golfer ever missed this tournament because they fell down a flight of stairs? Has any golfer ever missed a tournament from falling down a flight of stairs? Do you know any buddies who got hurt falling down a flight of stairs when sober? And now we’re talking about the #1 golfer in the world here? A guy who was already suspended for doing drugs and fucking players wives. A guy who already used a bad back from lifting a jet ski as an excuse in 2012 to withdraw from a tournament? WAKE UP PEOPLE. There is literally negative infinity Dustin Johnson just happened to fall down a flight of stairs the day before the Masters. I don’t know what happened, but I guarantee you it’s a lot more salacious and juicy than a simple falling down the stairs accident. No chance no how. The watchdog of the Internet is back.