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Rumors of Richard Sherman to the Patriots Heat Up and the Internet Loses its Damn Mind

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And so the most Bananaland off-season in Patriots history rolls on with Seahawks GM John Schneider going on Seattle radio yesterday and confirming that yes, the rumors that he’s shopping Richard Sherman around are true. Putting aside how deranged it is that a man running an NFL franchise would feel compelled to bare his soul to a couple of sports radio dinks like that, the world immediately assumed the place he’s mostly likely to ship him to is New England.

And it makes all the sense in the world. The Patriots by now have probably just about had it with Malcolm Butler’s intransigence. They have to believe by now that if he does sign his tender and stay that they’ll never keep him beyond 2017 without franchising him. And since Seattle is looking to move Sherman because they have to cut salary, paying $3.91 million for the very man who pulled Pete Carroll’s still-beating heart out of his chest cavity and ate it two years ago has to be their best option. Plus the Pats are currently sitting on $22 million of cap space, so they can fit the $13 million hit for Sherman this year and next and still leave plenty of leg room.

Of course, no one is ever going to move on from a veteran superstar like Sherman without putting out the “he’s damaged goods” rumors. Which Seattle is doing. Andy Benoit did an obliging hit piece about how he’s lost his “change of direction” and his “hip swivel.” Others are bringing up the stuff about how he’s increasingly been bitching out Seahawks DC Darrell Bevell and a pain in the ass to reporters (for which he probably deserves a Kennedy Center Honor). And there is the legit concern about the MCL problem he fought through most of last year. (Note: If you don’t recall that injury, it’s because the Seahawks lied to cover it up, the third time they’ve been caught and and the NFL let them off with yet another warning.)

But all that “decline” stuff is nonsense. The kind of crap you put out there to sell your fans on the idea that the franchise player who’s jersey they paid a hundred bucks for is about to be gone. Pro Football Focus graded him out with a passer rating against of 68.3, which was 6th best in the league. And if he’s “in decline,” you’ll need to rethink your long term commitment to Butler since Sherman is all of two years older than him.

Without a doubt I’m on Team Malcolm for life. How can you not love his story more than Sherman’s? A kid from a nowhere school who was overlooked until he got his chance and became a hero over a cocky, arrogant, mercurial swagger-junkie from a power program. But the only story I’m really interested in right now is the Patriots having the best cornerback duo in the league, which they would with Sherman and Stephon Gilmore.

I recognize it’s just a dream at this point. But even if you’re on the fence about it because you’re so emotionally attached to Butler and hate Sherman, you have to want it just for the Internet’s reaction. I swear to God if the Patriots get this guy the NFL will break the team up under anti-trust laws.

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