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High School Kid Asks Emma Stone To Prom By Reenacting The Opening Scene From La La Land And I Want To Throw Up

A Phoenix-area teen is asking actress Emma Stone to be his prom date with an elaborate La La Land parody video.

Arcadia High School student Jacob Staudenmaier filmed his so-called “prom-posal” in the style of the opening song from Stone’s Oscar-winning film, which features a dance number on a traffic-filled Los Angeles highway. He enlisted dozens of classmates and a few teachers to help with the video.

Stone grew up in Scottsdale, Ariz., a fact Staudenmaier mentions in the lyrics of his prom request.

Staudenmaier says asking Stone to prom started out as a joke. He says he has a backup date in case the actress doesn’t see his video.

Puke. What is wrong with this world? Honestly, there was so much effort put into this video I wanted to stick a few fingers down my throat and just throw up.

First of all La La Land SUCKED, as do most musicals. How can anyone enjoy two hours of just singing and dancing? You start to like the way a scene is going and ah what do ya know another song to ruin it! Is that the macho man inside me screaming out for help? Well, all I know is that I wanted to watch just about anything else for those two hours and eight minutes.

Next we have my hatred of creative prom proposals which I voiced with the running app kid a few weeks ago. Now with this asshole Jacob, we have the magical combination of both travesties.

A wild part to this whole scheme is that Jacob was able to get what looks like 20+ friends to help out. Little do they know how insufferable this guy is about to get over the next few weeks. The guy already thinks he looks like Ryan Gosling, which is a bold thing to say even if you may draw some similarities to the man. Guy probably looks at himself in the mirror no less than 50 times a day repeating how awesome he is. Now you’re giving THAT GUY all this publicity and media attention. You could say I’m doing the same here, but the people must know the madness going on here so it can be stopped.

Here’s the most batshit crazy part of the whole story…there’s a girl who said she’d be happy to go with Jacob if Emma Stone said no. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? Have some self respect my dear. Oh yeah, don’t worry you go and do your thing asking Emma Stone to prom and I’ll just be waiting here by my phone as your backup. WHAT?!?

I’ll go to my grave saying high school prom night is one of the more overrated nights in a human being’s lifetime, but to a girl I know it means a lot for some stupid reason. So why is this girl leaving her huge night in the balance as pretty boy Jacob waits for his answer? Is this just a west-coast-everyone’s-so-happy-all-the-time sort of thing? Everyone’s willing to help out and pitch in without batting an eye, including a girl being totally fine being a second option. In the history of women I’m not sure I’ve heard of a girl who’s okay being the second option in any situation. That part was absolutely baffling to me.

So here’s what I hope happens. Emma Stone, despite the prom being in her home town, has a scheduling conflict just like Trump did with throwing out the first pitch on opening day. What can ya do? Jacob slumps back to his second option who has read this blog and realized her self worth. She cucks Jacob and goes with his best friend, who also read this blog and realized what an idiot he was for helping make the video. They have a great night while Jacob stares at the stars alone, wondering what could have been.

I’d watch that movie 100 times before I watched La La Land.