Kendall Jenner's The Star Of A New Pepsi Ad And Woooo Buddy Is It Problematic

I’m gonna be honest, I don’t really give a fuck about this ad. You’ll be surprised to hear this but many people do and they’re up in arms and are gonna tweet until their fingertips go bald like Will Smith in MIB. Me? Eh, whatever. That’s the gift I was given when I was born a white dude, I don’t really have to get worked up about fucking anything. It’s awesome and you should try it. So, yeah, this is a shitty and weird commercial, there’s no doubt about that, but that’s as much as I care about it. If people didn’t spend all night losing their minds then I never would’ve given it a second thought.

Now that I have given it a second thought, and now that I’ve been forced to actually pay attention to it and think about Pepsi (good advertising!), I’ve gotta tip my cap to the ad squad who put this nonsense together. They sat in a room and tried to fuck every social issue into a 2 minute spot to get the internet talking, and they accomplished that. I’m not sure the conversation is exactly what they had in mind, but there is conversation. We are talking an awful lot about Pepsi and a Pepsi conversation usually lasts as long as it takes to say…

“We don’t have Coke is Pepsi ok?”

“What? Fuck. Whatever, yeah I guess.”

That’s a Pepsi conversation, it’s not a trending topic for twelve straight hours and breaking down the intricacies of a commercial. It’s not memes of Dr. King and Malcolm X holding Pepsis. No one gives a fuck about Pepsi, it’s the girl you take home after last call, but tonight? Tonight everyone cares about Pepsi. That’s advertising.

So yeah, it’s pretty outrageous that they had some rich, white chick come in and solve the world’s problems, push unity, inspire people to “Join the Conversation,” then scab the protest and hand refreshing drinks out to cops like she’s the neighborhood’s concerned mom. “Are you drinking enough water? Are you wearing sunblock? Who wants sandwiches? Racial oppressor, care for a Pepsi?” Basically taking the disastrous American social climate, all that’s wrong with our country, and saying that Pepsi would solve it all is absurd. I’ll be man enough to admit that and I don’t care who hears it.

But the commercial is the Jack Sparrow of commercials thus making it a successful commercial.

“You are undoubtedly the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of”

“Ahhhhh, but you have heard of me.”

– Jack Sparrow and Pepsi now