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Competitive Hobbyhorsing is All the Rage

hobby horsing

TVNZHobbyhorse riders straddle a stuffed toy horse on a wooden stick – complete with glued-on eyes and mane – and compete in front of judges.

The sport, which includes dressage and showjumping, has attracted more than 10,000 athletes and followers in Finland alone.

And it’s now the subject of a documentary – Hobbyhorse Revolution:

Next month the nation’s finest riders will compete in the annual Hobbyhorse Championships near Helsinki, with other regional events throughout the year.

There are those things that come along once in a great while in your life that you never had, but once you try it, you know in an instant you’ll never be able to live without it. Your first cell phone. Your first smart phone. GPS. Free porn. Free porn on your smartphone. Well competitive hobbyhorsing is mine.

No. Not just competitions. I’m going to start living the Hobbyhorse Life. Steeplechases. Dressage. Recreational hobby-horsing. Building my own hobbyhorse. Making hobbyhorse friends. Therapeutic hobbyhorsing to deal with life’s problems. I’m writing hobbyhorse fan fic on hobbyhorse message boards. Making hobbyhorse videos. Watching Free hobbyhorse porn on my cellphone with the hobbyhorse case while riding my hobbyhorse and then pleasuring myself with my hobbyhorse.

Sure, the hobbyhorse lifestyle might look like it’s the biggest craze to hit the Cranston since Amazon pulled the vibrating Nimbus 2000. But it’s so much more. Now if anybody needs me, I’ve got tickets to Helsinki to buy, a stick horse to build and riding to learn.