This Tinder Girl With Self-Proclaimed Reasonably Sized Breasts Is Turning The Whole 'Daddy' Game Upside Down

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Honestly this chick is just dripping confidence all over the place with this Tinder bio, cocky little pic, equally cocky bio. And normally I’m VERY out on the “daddy” thing (outside of poorly contested internet basketball games forcing me into parenthood) as a guy over 30 who often dates a little younger. But there’s something about a chick like this saying it that could convince me to recalibrate my world views. For as much as an older woman being all self-assured can be hot, seeing a younger chick who’s already got shit figured out and knows who she is can be just as sexy. And this girl is very aware she wants two things: Appreciation for well-appointed B cups and keeping an open mind towards Freudian sex nicknames. Some lucky guy out there who can provide both is going to have quite the catch.

And hey! It’s another week of the very alpha male and heterosexual Tinder blog. It’s been a roller coaster week for ol Spags culminating with another episode of Swipe Drunk Love last night where we revealed the worst things we’ve ever done in dating:

There are some WILD (and honestly shameful) stories in there that you can also listen to on Soundcloud while you work through the blog.

As always, thanks to the folks who sent things in, make sure to follow me on Twitter and Instagram to send in your screenshots, and now let’s get to it:

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(via QBQ)

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Follow the Swipe Drunk Love Instagram handle for more bonus Tinder blog content every day since there’s way too fucking much now for this every week

A-iwontjudgeanyonewhodswiperightherebutjesuschristhavesomfuckingstandardsAmeirca

I won’t judge anyone who’d swipe right here but Jesus Christ have some fucking standards America (via A)

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Your competition for the week and I think I speak for everyone when I say fuck this ripped dude with his witty fucking bio I hate you (via HG)

BH-idpiledrivethosebillmafiagirlsthroughatableifyougetmydrift

I’d piledrive those Bill Mafia girls through a table if you get my drift (via BH)

BW-couldyouevenimagineifthiswastheWthatTexisduefor

Could you even imagine if this were the W that Tex is due for? (via BW)

C-classyofhertoleavetheanklebraceletoutofthephotothough

It’s classy of her to leave the ankle bracelet out of the photo though (via C)

CB-thatdoesntsoundlikeachillsituationnecessarily

That doesn’t sound like a chill situation necessarily (via CB)

CM-photo5iswhereyoucantellaladyistrulyalady

Photo 5 is where you can tell a lady is truly a lady (via CM)

CVA-wasitthatbigofanissueofguystryingtofuckhermom

Was it that big of an issue of guys trying to fuck her mom? (via CVA)

T1-INSERTANALARMGIFheyguysgonnaneedtheinstaherethanks

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…I stand corrected. But also:

REALLY gonna need someone to magically pull out an Instagram here. Don’t let me down (via T)

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Putting Your Best Foot Forward 101 (via D)

DS-beentoolongcheerleadersonBumble

Been too long, cheerleaders on Bumble. Way too long (via DS)

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GM2-moreraciallybiasedthantheSATimo

This is more racially biased than the SAT imo (via GM)

JS-findyouagirlwhocanliterallyfloatyouovertoaustralialikeacubansraft

Find you a girl who can literally float you over to Australia like Cuban baseball players on a raft used to (via JS)

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M2-superlikehereforcreativityandbecausethatsoundedniceuntilthepoisoning

Super like here for creativity and because that sounded nice up until the poisoning (via M)

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MA2-doestakingblackdickmeanyoucandropNbombsaskingforthisgirlandnotmyselfiswear

Does a zest for black dick mean you can drop N bombs? Asking for this girl and not myself, I swear (via MA)

MR-youvegottoworkhardatgenderqueeringweallknowthat

You’ve got to work hard at genderqueering like it’s your job to get good at it, we all know that (via MR)

NR-thesesoundanawfullotlikealphamalemoves

These sound an awful lot like alpha male moves… (via NR)

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Pears, Petes, Pattlestar Galactica? (via TH)

TW-otherculturesandwhateverbuthowdoyounameyourkidthisintodaysworld

I’m sure it’s a gorgeous name in another culture or whatever but how do you actually name your kid this in today’s world? (via TW)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

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TJ2-HOTNSFWtobeclearpromisingtodoanalisnotaSpagsPromisedespitehurtfulinternetrumors

To be clear, promising to do anal is not a #SpagsPromise despite hurtful internet rumors (via TJ)

DN-HOTNSFWthespagspromisecourtstrouble

Every set of nips on all the dating apps, that’s the Trouble causing #SpagsPromise (via DN)

AS-HOTNSFWfingerpopamollyimsweatin

Finger pop a Molly I’m sweatin (via AS)

AT-HOTNSFWspagspromisewithglassesisnicebecauseyouknowshessmart

#SpagsPromise with glasses is nice because you know she’s smart (via AT)

TH-HOTNSFWhennessybeingthefirstchoiceoverfireballforthesetwoisahugeupset

Hennessy being the first choice over Fireball given the demographics here has to be a huge upset (via TH)

DS-HOTNSFWiknowthisisanipplefocusedblognowbutdamnifanicesideboobdoesntbrightenaday

I know this is a nipple focused blog now but damn if a nice sideboob doesn’t brighten your day (via DS)

T-HOTNSFWtheyshouldservethatassonthemenuiftheywanttodriveuprevenues

They should serve that ass on the menu if they want to drive up revenues (via T)

H-HOTNSFWthatsoneofthoseSpagsPromisesthatlooklikeshecouldripthroughashirt

That’s one of those #SpagsPromises that look like she could rip through a shirt (via H)

JB-HOTNSFWfirstthencaatourneynowthiswaytogonorthwestern

First the NCAA tourney appearance now this? Way to go Northwestern (via JB)

JD-HOTNSFWnicetoseethataSpagsPromisegirlcanalsobeanentrepreneur

nice to see that a #SpagsPromise girl can also be an entrepreneur (via JD)

MD-HOTNSFWseemslikesomeonehadagoodstpatricksday

Seems like someone had a good St Patrick’s Day (via MD)

MW-HOTNSFWiimaginethosechildrenarelearninggreatlessonsineducationandinlife

I imagine those children are learning great lessons in education and in life (via MW)

MGK-theresaquotetohitforbustySpagsPromisegirlstoo

There is a quota to hit for busty #SpagsPromise girls too (via MGK)

RK-HOTNSFWherinstaisprivatebutillstillwagerthatthisisaqualitysocialmediafollowoftheweek

Her Insta is private but I can in fact confirm that this is a quality social media follow of the week (via RK)

TOB-HOTNSFWillbehonestifindabraininjuredSpagsPromisetobedownrightinspiring

Honestly I find a brain injured #SpagsPromise to be downright inspiring, good for this lady (via TOB)

And there we have it, another week of the Tinder roundup in the books. Make sure to follow me on Twitter and Instagram to send in screenshots, thanks again to folks sending things in, and happy swiping!