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Barstool’s Preview of USMNT vs Honduras – aka One Of The “Must-Winningest” Game in History

Sam’s Soccer Safe Space for Stoolies

1-USA

Hi haters,

Welp, so here we are. Only two games into the Hex and our backs are already against the wall.

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Quick reminder: top three nations qualify for World Cup 2018 in Mother Russia automatically, and fourth place will play the fifth place finisher in AFCON qualifying in a home-and-home to slip in the backdoor.

Needless to say, winless through two games is not where we want to be, nor is it where we ought to be, but it is where we are. So time to sack up and deal with it.

Before getting balls deep in the preview though let’s all take a moment – inhale… hold it… exhale – now let’s get our minds right real quick for the game ahead:

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USMNT

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USA vs HONDURAS
Time: 9:30 pm CT
TV: Fox Sports 1; Stream: FoxSportsGo
Location: Avaya Stadium (San Jose, CA)

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A few more important reminders/status updates for any casual fans who haven’t been closely following what is going on with USMNT lately:

– This is the first game that counts under Bruce Arena 2.0, who took over after Jurgen the German got the boot after guiding the US to a home (1-2) loss to Mexico and an shambolic (0-4) ass-kicking at Costa Rica.

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– It is not technically a “must-win” since every team plays 10 games. However, having said that, precisely zero teams have ever qualified for a World Cup after generating zero points from their first three games in the Hex. Missing out on Russia 2018 would be a total catastrophe. There would be no SpinZones. There would be no silver linings. There would be no moral victories. Personally, it would be one of the most painful L’s that I’ve ever experienced, and keep in mind that is coming from a Tottenham fan. So if it quacks like a must-win, and walks like a must-win, I’m comfortable calling it a must-win.

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THE BAD NEWS

USMNT is going to be missing a tonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn of talent against Honduras. The list of absentees include:

Fabian Johnson (injured)
Bobby Wood (injured)
DeAndre Yedlin (injured)
Gyasi Zardes (injured)
Eric Lichaj (injured)
Timmy Chandler (suspended)
Jermaine Jones (suspended)
Brad Guzan (new babydaddy)

For those keeping score at home, that is a minimum of three and possibly as many as five certain starters who will not be available. No bueno for such a massively important game.

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THE GOOD NEWS

Recent loss to Mexico aside, the USMNT does not lose WCQs at home. That game snapped a 27-game unbeaten streak in games played in our backyard, including a (5-0-0) record in the Hex leading up to the 2014 World Cup.

Also, not to beat around the bush, but the US is simply a more talented team than Honduras. The respective FIFA rankings (as flawed as they may be) are 30th and 65th. Los Catrachos, as the Central Americanos are known, are ahead of us in the table at the moment only because they have played two games at home against Trinidad & Tobago (3-1 W) and Panama (0-1 L). We should win this game, plain and simple.

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4-1-1 ON HONDURAS

Honduras is dangerous af. As in, seriously. In comparison, the South side of Chicago looks like child’s play. The country’s biggest weapon is handguns, which have facilitated it “achieving” the world’s highest murder rate at the moment. Unfortunately (for them) most of their firepower is on the streets of Tegucigalpa and not on the field.

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Their style of play may remind you a little of last season’s Leicester squad in that they tend to park the bus (sometimes playing with five defenders) and hope to nick one on a flash counterattack. Also, if at times some of the MLS fans out there can’t help feeling as though the US is playing against Houston Dynamo… there’s a good reason for that.

Players to watch:

• Andy Najar could be a problem running up and down the left wing. In fact, he was a problem when the US lost to Honduras (at their place) during WC14 qualifying.

• Two-man strike force Romell Quioto and Alberth Elis, supported by midfielder Boniek Garcia, have the added advantage of all being teammates who play together day in and day out for the Houston Dynamo, and have looked in sync so far this (young) season in MLS.

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STARTING XI

As mentioned we are not even close to full strength. I’m not even sure which hurts more with the absences of Yedlin, Johnson and Wood because each of them leave important holes/questions on defense, in the midfield and up top (respectively).

The biggest questions are:

Hillary 2020 Campaign Chairman – RB or CB? With Yedlin out until next month, all the scuttlebutt suggests Geoff Cameron will play right back tonight, which is unfortunate because he and Brooks have been a solid duo in the middle. However, given the strength of Honduras is counterattacking down the wings (and on their left in particular) it makes sense to have our strongest defender on the right. Also, the alternative to Cameron on the wing would be either Zusi, a midfielder, or Michael Orozco, who has yet to win my confidence after shitting his drawers on multiple occasions on the big stage. Prediction: RB.

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CB pairing? Assuming Cameron plays on the right, the question will then be who to pair with John Brooks in the center. We actually have two potentially useful options but both come with big risks. Omar Gonzalez has played very well for Pachuca in Liga MX but has a tendency to look like Bambi on ice skates anytime he suits up for the national team. Walker Zimmerman has also looked great for FC Dallas and could be the CB of the future, but throwing a rookie in there in such a big game does not sound very Bruce Arena-like. Prediction: Brooks/Gonzo.

DaMarcus “Old Balls” Beasley or Jorge “Pelotas Nuevas” Villafaña at LB? Beasley has been a damn good soldier for USMNT, and Arena trusts him, but dude is 34 years old. I know that’s young in human years but in LB years? Not so much. Villafaña has a lot of potential but like Zimmerman comes in largely untested. So, again, tough not to fall back on Arena’s habitual conservatism on this one, especially since Beasley has the advantage of playing against half the Honduran team on a daily basis. Prediction: Old Balls Beasley.

Does Christian Pulisic play wide or centrally? First and foremost, ‘member when JK was hesitant to play Pulisic because he was so young. Whoops. This “kid” is the fucking TRUTH. Thank god he’s 18 so I can express my love for him on twitter without having to worry about the pedo-police knocking on my door.

Nbd but kbd

When you see it… nbd but kbd

Anyway, there’s been a lot of talk about playing The Babyjesus centrally given his recent play for Dortmund. My guess is that against Honduras at least Arena will instead keep him outside on one wing, with Darlington Nagbe on the other. I don’t love Nagbe in this spot because he goes curiously silent in and around the opposing team’s 18-yard box, but he’s got the vision and talent to be a decent stand-in for Fabian Johnson – in a pinch anyway (which is precisely where we are right now). Prediction: Pulisic and Nagbe on the wings.

Michael Bradley or nah? Listen, I’m as antsy to find a replacement for El Capitan as anybody but let’s just face the fact that we don’t have one yet. So yes, Bradley is going to be out there tonight, and yes, he’s going to make some five-yard square passes that make absolutely no sense and put his teammates in danger. Prediction: that’s going to happen so just take a moment, accept it, and let’s move on.

More importantly, who plays alongside Bradley? The long list of candidates includes:

– Alejandro Bedoya – safe but lacks creativity
– Sebastian Lletget or Kellyn Acosta – talented but inexperienced
– Sacha Kljeistan or Dax McCarty – experienced but not in greatest form

This one will come down to whether Arena feels like he’s got enough defensive cover in the four defenders plus Bradley to get a little or a lot frisky going forward. Indeed, whoever he starts here is a litmus test on his confidence level about the team’s defense. If he is feeling very confident then my guess is Lletget (based on recent performances for USMNT) will edge out Acosta. If he is feeling kinda confident then Kljeistan and McCarty is a total toss-up, but I’ll go with Kljeistan given his extra experience with the national team. If Arena is nervous, you can bet that Bedoya will be the pick. I’m honestly not sure where Big Bad Bruce goes on this one, though if he selects Bedoya I will be a little nervous about what he has been seeing in training. Prediction: wild shot in the dark I’ll be optimistic and say Lletget.

What to do in Wood’s absence? For my money his loss is the most problematic for USA tonight. Wood plus Jozy are a useful combination of channel-running and hold-up play. There is also concern about an ankle injury suffered last week by Jordan Morris, whose style is more similar to Wood. Given that and the availability (and big-game experience) of Clint Dempsey – whose has evolved his game away from taking on defenders towards picking out dangerous passes in much the same way as Wayne Rooney – it’s hard to imagine Arena straying from pairing Jozy up top with Deuce lying just behind him. Unfortunately they both like to creep back into the same spaces, which could be a problem and I’m not going to lie and say I love not having a speedster as one of our two strikers, but that puts the onus on guys like Pulisic, Pulisic and Pulisic (and possibly Nagbe, but mostly Pulisic) to be the one to find the holes in the defense for Dempsey and Bradley to play balls into. Prediction: at least one goal for The Babyjesus.

Goalkeeping? Prediction: this WCQ cycle is Tim Howard’s farewell tour.

What happens if Wondo sees the field? We riot. Prayerful prediction: We don’t riot.

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Note: Don’t get too caught up on formation. If I could’ve I would have dropped Nagbe/Babyjesus back slightly and pushed Lletget up a bit.

Do we have a secret weapon? You bet your sweet ass we do. His name is Kevin Clancy and not long ago he purchased a lifetime lease to beachfront real estate in the heads of Hondurans everywhere with a single mildly inflammatory tweet.

9-KFC

Pro tip: can’t win soccer games when you are shook to your emotional core.

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Gotta give Denisse some credit, she does make a good point, even if she doesn’t know how to spell her own godamn name

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ONLY PREDICTION THAT MATTERS:

USMNT to win 2-0

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There you have it. EPL is back next weekend but before that the USMNT has another all-important WC qualifier on Tuesday in Panama. For now though let’s all direct our positive energies towards San Jose and take a big step towards writing the next testicle-tingling chapter in US Soccer history (which will be all the sweeter doing it right in President Pooty’s face):


Holler,
Samuel Army