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This Hooters Girl's Got An Honest Tinder Profile That You Won't Notice Due To Her Huge Breasts

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Today is the two-year anniversary of this lil Tinder roundup and I see no better way of kicking it off than a self-aware Hooters girl with big breasts. It’s a little baffling this one can’t get the call-up from working as a hostess but she’s there working hard, slinging wings, and being buoyant just as well as anyone else in an uncomfortably tight tanktop. And more than anything, this girl is a reminder of the biggest lesson from 100+ Tinder blogs: A little self-awareness goes a long way. There are a million chicks with cannons on Tinder, but how many are there that can poke fun at themselves? Tits and personality, you can have both if you search hard enough. (via JV)

And yes we’re right in the middle of a very special Tinder blog. And that means it’s time for you to check out the internet’s number one and possibly only live dating show Swipe Drunk Love:

There’s a Soundcloud link here too if you’re more of an audiophile. This week we did March MAD-ness, a breakdown of all the things that bug me, Smitty, and Alyssa Rose’s enormous breasts about dating. We covered a ton of stuff including anal sex on the first date — shockingly not a gay topic given my involvement — and Alyssa’s vibrator and you should check it out.

Make sure to follow me on Twitter or Instagram to DM me your screenshots from the dating apps and, without further adieu, the blog:

JOC-nowisyourtimetogetboughtalotofshoesElisanowisyourtime

Now is your time to get bought a lot of shoes, Elisa. Now is your time. (via JOC)

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Follow the Swipe Drunk Love Instagram for more bonus Tinder roundup content every single day.

MR-iconsideritmypleasuretodisappointabeautifulbustygirltwice

I consider it a personal pleasure to disappoint a hot busty girl twice (via MR)

JDB

(via JDB)

KK1

KK2-INSERTAPPLAUSEGIF

(via KK)

DH-sheseemslikebothasexyandfamilydestroyingbabysittingoption

She seems like both a sexy and family destroying babysitting option (via DH)

KR-nicewhenyoucancombinefashionwithdaddyissuesinoneconvenientpackage

Nice when you can combine fashion with daddy issues into one convenient package (via KR)

F

(via F)

AS-finallytrumprelationswithRussiaarepayingdividends

Finally the Trump relations with Russia are paying dividends (via AS)

TF-whatanamazingcoincidence

Wow what an amazing coincidence (via TF)

KG

(via KG)

B-onlybecauseitsStPatricksday

Only because it’s St Patrick’s Day (via B)

S1

S2-ifeellikehookingupwithoneofthesehotIsraeliladysoldierswouldbeatrulyremarkableexperience

I’ve always felt like hooking up with one of those hot Israeli lady soldiers would be a truly remarkable experience (via S)

JD1

JD2-shereallystartedsellingthatpegginghardhalfwaythroughhuh

She really started selling that pegging hard halfway through, huh? (via JD)

PQ-givenhowmanypeopleonTinderseemborderlineilliterateiwouldsaythatyoushouldmaybeaimforasailboatmax

Given how many people on Tinder seem borderline illiterate, I would say that you should aim for a sailboat max (via PQ)

RU-ihavetoassumethatsajokebutwhoevenjokeslikethat

I have to assume that’s a joke but who even jokes like that? (via RU)

RC-shameonanysugardaddiesouttheresettingthebarwheretheydonthavetohavesexforgoodsorservices

Shame on any sugar daddies out there setting the bar somewhere that girls don’t have to actually have sex for goods or services (via RC)

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AB-whatanidiotdisneyworldhasthefacesittingattractionatEPCOT

What an idiot, everyone knows Disney World is the one with the face sitting attraction at Epcot (via AB)

FV-theantifeministapproachhastopaydividendsontheseapps

The anti-feminist approach has to pay dividends on these apps (via FV)

BB-nothavingthosehabitsmustmakeforacleanercolon

Not having those habits must make for a cleaner colon (via BB)

MR-thisweeksreminderyouwouldlikelygosouthoftheborderforthistransgal

This week’s reminder you would likely go south of the border for this trans gal (via MR)

DH-youseemlikeaniceladybutitlookslikeyouhaveanalbeadscomingoutyourbutt

You seem like a nice lady but it looks like you have anal beads coming out of you (via DH)

DH-KenBonewilltakeanypromotionhecangetatthispoint

Ken Bone will take any promotion he can get at this point (via DH)

TNC-whenyouspellitlikethatitlooksmuchmorelikeDryHeavingthanHeaven

When you spell it like that it looks much more like Dry Heaving than Heaven (via TNC)

CP-getthismanaCuckcycleshirt

Get this man a Cuckcycle shirt (via CP)

And onto the hot and NSFWish ones…

D-HOTNSFWeverysetofnipsonallthedatingappsthatsthespagspromise

Every set of nips on all the dating apps, that’s the #SpagsPromise. That and questionable sexuality (via D)

MF-HOTNSFWnormallyimnothugeongirlscallingyoudaddybutsometimesyouhavetobewillingtomakeanexception

Normally I’m not huge on girls calling you daddy but sometimes you have to be willing to make an exception (via MF)

RZ-HOTNSFW

(via RZ)

GM-HOTNSFWifindthisangleofhertobeveryIlliuminatingthanksguysIllbehereallweek

I find this angle of her to be very illuminating. Thanks guys I’ll be here all week (via GM)

D-HOTNSFWhertipswouldbethroughtheroofifherservingalwaysincludedaSpagsPromise

Her tips would go through the roof if she served up a side of #SpagsPromise like this at work (via D)

MR-HOTNSFWshecouldsavemefromaburningbuildingNoteiwouldneedtoseemoretoactuallyfeelsafehavinghersavemefromaburningbuilding

She could save me from a burning building, if you catch my drift (Note: I would need to see way more on her physical strength before actually feeling safe having her save me from a burning building) (via MR)

TS-HOTNSFWisitevenpossibleforabutttolookbadfromthisangle

Is it even possible for a butt to look bad from this angle? (via TS)

MB-HOTNSFW

A blonde and pierced 18-year-old #SpagsPromise is just spiking the football with how easy it is to get into the Tinder roundup (via MB)

DT1-HOTNSFW

D2-HOTNSFWimostlyincludedthisjustsowecouldalllearnaboutstigmatophilia

I mostly included this just so we could all learn about Stigmatophilia (via DT)

MD-HOTNSFWiwontleaveoutahot18yearoldspagspromiseveenifherhatingjerkymakeshergodownlike10points

I won’t leave out a hot 18 year old #SpagsPromise even if if her hating jerky makes her go down like 10 points (via MD)

MJ-HOTNSFWgottagetsomemorehersheykissesintheSpagsPromisemix

Gotta get some more Hershey’s Kisses in the #SpagsPromise mix (via MJ)

AP-HOTNSFWiwouldliketoseemoreofhermodeling

I would be curious to see more of her modeling (via AP)

ZR-HOTNSFWfindyouagirlwhofillsoutashirtlikeSarah

Find yourself a girl who fills out a shirt like Sarah and the world will be a much sunnier place (via ZR)

MS-HOTNSFWandthatiswhyyoureadallthelinesofthebiomyfriends

And that is why you read all the lines of the bio my friends (via MS)

And there we have it, another week in the books. Follow me on Twitter or Instagram to DM in your screenshots, thanks to the folks who sent stuff in and who’ve loyally read this little blog over the last two years, and happy swiping!