Shocking Breaking News: The CIA Spies On You and Your Phone, Your Computer, Your Tablet, Your TV and Basically Everything You Own

CNN — WikiLeaks has set off an avalanche of alarming headlines with its publication of purported CIA documents.

Allegations that the U.S. agency has hacked into smartphones, laptops, and internet-connected TVs to spy on people around the world are enough to make anyone paranoid.

…

“No computer system is impenetrable,” said Shuman Ghosemajumder, chief technology officer with cyber security firm Shape Security. “Given enough time, effort, and resources, a nation-state or even a well-funded cybercriminal group is capable of compromising almost any popular system we think of as secure.”

…

The officials emphasized any intelligence collection using the types of operations described in the documents is legal intelligence collection against overseas targets.

Fox News — Amid a trove of documents released by WikiLeaks that allegedly contains “the entire hacking capacity of the CIA” is chilling evidence that everyday devices like smart TVs and cell phones have potentially become critical tools in the effort to spy on American citizens.

So Wikileaks published a bunch of docs that essentially show the CIA can hack any and every electronic device you’ve ever heard of. They can see texts, hear calls, watch through TV and even activate phone’s cameras and microphones remotely without people knowing. Check out these details:

Many people are freaking out calling this bigger and more damning than the Snowden leak. So my take is this — of course the CIA spies on people. Obviously. Duh. They spy on friends and families and neighbors and yes, our enemies too. That’s the whole point here — they’re the Central Intelligence Agency, what do you expect them to do? What do you think their job is? Spy away boys. Hack hack hack. Listen, see, smell, taste, touch… do whatever the fuck you gotta do to identify, stop and capture the bad guys. I love it. I need it. Spy spy spy.

The CIA hacks shit and spies on everyone and everything? Yeah no shit. CNN themselves write:

Don’t want to get hacked? Get off the internet and use snail mail to communicate. But If you want to stay plugged in, here are a few steps to help protect your privacy.

If you don’t want to be spied on go live in a cabin in the woods. Good luck Bob Lee Swagger. This nerdy tech dude says:

“That the CIA hacks is like saying water is wet — it’s them doing their job,” said Nicholas Weaver, senior researcher with the International Computer Science Institute at the University of California, Berkeley.

Always laugh when people are shocked by these types of revelations. The agency whose sole job is to collect intelligence i.e. spy on shit is indeed spying on shit. Also the sun will rise in the east and set in the west. That’s just the way it is and it’s all SO FAR out of your control at this point that you just have to let it happen. Have to trust it. All the government paranoids out there don’t like it but it’s true.

Here’s a little tip: Don’t do any sketchy terroristy shit and you’ll be fine. They’ll spy, see nothing, and move right along. In a few months they’ll spy again, see nothing, and again move right along. Either accept that or purge technology from your life. But as long as we’ve got bad guys looking to do really really bad shit to us like blow us up, shoot us, kill us any way they possibly can — which we always will — those are your options.

And if your complaint is “I knew they spied but I didn’t know they went to these lengths” then you’re an idiot. Be less naive for me one time. Of course they hack and spy to the creepiest degree imaginable and then some. It’s literally their job. It’s why the agency exists.

PS — For anyone being like “they only spy on foreign entities” yeah sure. CIA, NSA, Facebook — collectively they’re all spying the fuck out of everyone everywhere and I really don’t care. Spy away boys.