Charlotte Mckinney Goes To Prom With A Kid Who Already Had A Date

Francis3/06/2017 9:00 PM

NY Post- Charlotte McKinney — who dropped out of high school at 17 — went to a prom on Friday in Bloomington, California.

McKinney, 23, surprised student Samuel Castro, 16, as his date, and even brought him a boutonniere. The model volunteers with nonprofit Best Buddies, which works with “people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.”

Castro already had a date, and the pair dressed in “Beauty and the Beast” costumes, but we hear the trio spent the night having fun and dancing.

Ladies and gentlmen, I present to you: Man Between Rock and Hard Penis

Here’s the situation: Sam Rider goes to prom with his girlfriend. She convinces him they need to go dressed in Beauty and the Beast costumes, and because he’s a dutiful boyfriend, he complies even though it goes against his basic instincts as a red-blooded male. He’s dancing the night away with his girl, knowing he’s going to get lucky when out of nowhere, Charlotte McKinney shows up and says “hi, I’m your date!” WHAT do you do? Let’s go to the tape:

No shame in playing it safe. Dance with Charlotte from a distance so you can always say you danced with an absolute rocket, but keep your focus on your girlfriend so you can lay the pipe later. Sam knows the chances of him banging Charlotte are slim; it’s a 270-yard carry over water with the wind in his face. He WANTS to pull out the driver and go for the green in one, but history and science tell him to lay up with his 6-iron girlfriend instead. He finishes with a par, doesn’t blow up, and walks off the course with his head held high.

Tough look for Charlotte though. Categorically dismissed by a 16-year-old. Thought she was doing him a favor when in reality, she nearly cock-blocked him to Timbuktu.

I looked up Sam’s Instagram. This is his profile:

That is the profile of a broken man. Guy is in the dog house at no fault of his own and turned his Instagram account into a shrine to his girlfriend because she has his balls in a jar on the shelf. It sucks, but we’ve all been there.