I'm Distraught Over Henrik Lundqvist Praising James Dolan

Glenny Balls2/27/2017 9:50 PM

TMZ- Finally, some good news for James Dolan … one of his most famous players is coming to his defense — saying he’s the BEST owner he’s ever had. Remember, Dolan doesn’t just own the Knicks — he also owns the NY Rangers … so when we saw goalie Henrik Lundqvist out in NYC, we had to ask where he stood in the Charles Oakley drama. Lundqvist made it very clear he’s got Dolan’s back — saying, “He’s been the best owner to us ever since I came here 12 years ago.”He added, “Only good things to say about him.”

Fuck me. I complain about a lot of shit, but this is crossing the line. Henrik Lundqvist is without a doubt my favorite human to ever walk Earth. I have a Lundqvist sticker on my laptop, he graces the background of my phone, I have like 4 Hank jerseys, and much more to keep my love of him going. If I ever had to bat for the other team he’d be my first prey and I’d happily be his “bear”. My eternal love for Henrik is equally matched by my eternal hate for James Dolan. Fuck that guy. This is how Joey must’ve felt when he found out Chandler kissed Kathy without his permission. He’s a terrible owner, a worse singer, and I’ve heard a worse person.

I’m not even a huge Knicks fan, yet it’s also hard to ignore the ridiculousness in the Oakley saga. All it does is add on to the shit list of one of the worst owners in professional sports which I love. My main concern with Lundqvist’s confession is that Henrik has become one of Dolan’s personal robots. You see those people in “JD & The Straight Shot” above? Property of JD. Probably got a chip implanted in them and just have to do what that fucker tells ‘em to do for the rest of their poor lives (think Michael Caine in Kingsman). Nobody willingly participates in a music video starring a 61-year-old leprechaun dressed as Indiana Jones at a communion. My prayers are going out to Henrik Lundqvist tonight in the hopes that he’s still the man I’ve come to know and love for the past 12 years.

Buy a Fire Dolan shirt while you’re at it.