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Can't Knock The Hustle Of This Couple Trying To Discretely Bang While Waiting For Take-Out At Dominos

The Sun – Footage seems to show a woman performing a sex act on the man in the corner of the [Domino’s] takeaway.

Later the woman’s trousers appear to be pulled down as the man stands closely behind her at the counter of the store.

A woman on social media today claimed to be the video’s star. She wrote: “If your trying to tell me ya av never got a bit frisky in a random or public place then ya f***ing boring haha.”

She later added: “Rule number 1 never waste ya boyfriends b***r and always opt for stuffed crust.” The woman claimed staff at the takeaway “just laughed and told us to behave”.”

First off: Dominos doesn’t have stuffed crust so while that’s a fine joke it is also a factually inaccurate one. But overall there is no mistaking that this is not a classy move. Generally speaking you should not have sex in to-go restaurants or even sit-down restaurants, there are many all-around better places to get your dick wet. But I honestly don’t hate this move. You’re alone in the restaurant, it seemed to me like they were trying to keep it as sneaky as possible, about as well as two likely drunk people can keep such a situation clandestine, still not a classy or sanitary move but one I can sort of understand. I’ve gone on record before as an ardent supporter of cab fingering and really whatever things you can do to stoke the fires of passion before you can get a chick back to your place; if the vibes are there and you’re good at keeping things under the radar, there’s no reason to get a little sneaky foreplay in. Would I personally go to blowjobs and stand-up doggystyle fucking at the counter? Probably not. But I won’t begrudge a man for seizing the brass ring if he can.

Plus can you think of any better AND more efficient option than picking up your $5 medium pizza and cheesy bread and getting the load out of the way before you eat? They’re banging at a fast food pizza place at 11PM, probably not sober, these are the situations where sometimes you’ve got to think “Well I’m going to be way too fat and beached and drunk after eating this, I might need to choose food over sex.” But thanks to his under the radar public cockwork, now he may not have to make that choice.

Though one caveat: Tough to believe he got off in this spot. If he did, that might explain why the Dominos workers were so chill about the situation. If this man is able to carry conversations, get a chick to focus on making a food order, and fuck her til completion in a take-out restaurant then he absolutely deserves the run of the place. Might even warrant political office.