Getting Arrested For Stabbing Yourself To Get Out Of Work Is Still Better Than Going To Work

Japan - Would you stab yourself in order to get a day off from work? A man in Aichi Prefecture did. However, even though he did get the day off, he wasn’t able to enjoy it because he ended up getting arrested that same day.

According to police, at about 7:20 a.m. on February 22nd, Masaru Miura, a 54-year-old resident of the city of Kasugai in Aichi, stabbed himself in the left hip area with an approximately 13cm long knife in a Nagoya Municipal Subway station bathroom. After stabbing himself, he went to a nearby police box and filed a false police report, saying “An unknown man stabbed me from behind.”

As police were waiting for Miura to receive treatment for his wound, which was roughly 2.5cm in length, they began to inquire further about the incident. Miura eventually admitted that he had lied and that he had stabbed himself. Police arrested him that afternoon for interfering with police duties.

Miura explained that he found the knife in a thicket near the subway station and that he did it because he did not want to go to work.

Miura was quoted as saying “I didn’t want to go to work so I did it” and “If I got hurt I thought I would not have to go to work.”


We all know that feeling. The depression. The desperation. The feeling that you’d rather Tommy come over there and hit you over the head with a tack hammer than do some bullshit mundane task one more time. So while I don’t think he really thought thoroughly through his plan at all, at the end of the day, my guy Masaru Miura still got what he wanted. This dude is 54 years old and could not go one more day of work without killing himself. All he did was wake up, go to work, go home, go to sleep. All day, every day. For 30 years. And he could not take it any longer, so he did the only thing he could think of, grabbed a knife, and fucking stabbed the hell out of himself. You have to respect the shit out of his commitment to getting out of work that day. He would rather bleed, go to the hospital, and then get arrested than sit in the cube. His employer should just tip their cap and respect his hustle.