Drunk Scottish Gentleman On Train With A Racist Tirade For The Ages

NY Post- While riding on a train from London to Glasgow, 47-year-old Alexander Mackinnon allegedly yelled at another passenger’s child and then hurled racist insults at the mother. She filmed him as he continued to insult her while talking on the phone, before he was removed from the train by police and fined.

This is one of the funniest videos I’ve seen in 2017. Generally speaking, racism isn’t funny. But it’s definitely funny when it comes from a dapper Scotsman speaking 3 words a minute because he’s completely shitfaced. His delivery is so dignified, so old-fashioned. I would call it polished racism. Some highlights:

:20- “That stupid cow doesn’t belong in this country. And now she’ll accuse me of insulting her and discrimination. Alright buh-bye.”

Self-awareness through the roof. Incredibly racist remark immediately followed by a recognition of the impending consequences. Didn’t even need time to process his mistake. Who the hell is he talking to? It would have to be a racist, dapper guy on another train right? Because clearly, that person isn’t telling him to tone it down. Just saying keep up the good work, buh-bye.

1:53- “I’m racist am I? You’re racist.”

Hysterical. The old 4th grade boomerang comeback. Just take whatever someone calls you and call them that exact same thing. Makes no sense, is completely childish, and works every single time. How can you argue with this nonsense?

1:09- “I’m not racist. I love people.”

Sir, we just saw you say “that stupid cow doesn’t belong in this country.” And as far as I can tell, there were no foreign-born runaway heifers on that train. Still, admire the effort. Oh you love people? Forgive us. We had you mistaken for a racist dick. Go back to your single malt, my good sir, and enjoy the rest of your journey.