The Battery In My Truck Died; I'm Distraught But Still Handsome


I was heading out to go to some appointments and shit this morning and I got the dreaded clicking noise when I went to start my truck. Terrible feeling. You know you have shit to do and are supposed to be meeting people but your battery actually dies. Not fake dies. But actually is dead. That’s the issue. No one believes your stupid ass when you tell them that your truck battery dies. They just think that’s typical Chaps blowing me off again. Well, it’s not. I’m stranded. What if I had a medical emergency? What if one of my animals got bitten by a rattlesnake? I’m screwed and so are they. Otto and Gus don’t deserve that. They are good boys.

I’m at home. My neighbors are at work. I don’t have anything to jump my truck so I have to call roadside like a squid. The roadside dude or lady (progressive) is gonna judge the fuck outta me. I just know it.

“Uhhh hey chaps… might wanna turn off the headlights next time lol”

“Uhhh hey chaps… shut the doors all the way or the lights will stay on.”

Fucking roadside, guys. Mechanics, in general, are judgy as hell and I’m not gonna stand for it when he gets to my house to help me out in 30-45 minutes. He wants to talk shit he can cash me outside. Howbohdat.