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Florida Man Smartly Smoked Crack After His Face Was Burned By A Car Fire

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Jacksonville, FL — A man said he smoked crack on Feb. 11 after his face was severely burned because of a car fire in Jacksonville.
Zachary Allen Shultz, 25, said he smoked crack after being burned because “It helped with the pain.”
The Jacksonville Fire Rescue responded on Feb. 10 to the car fire near Arbor Terrace on San Jose Boulevard. The car was listed as stolen and had been involved in an aggravated assault against a police officer, the police report said.

This story is why I laugh when people make fun of crackheads. Crackheads are stupid? Buddy, you’re stupid. Not a chance in the world I would think to smoke a little crack after I caught my face on fire. I’d probably be a little bitch and take my dumbass to the hospital and rack up a bill that’s more expensive than a simple crack rock. Emergency room fees are out of control. Smart people don’t get caught in that trap; smart people smoke crack cocaine.

This long time stoolie found himself in quite the pickle.

“Hmmm…. my face is on fire… what should I do?”

eureka

“I’ll smoke a little crack to take the edge off!”

Brilliant. I’m more of a Motrin kind of guy but I bet crack works so much better and you can even take that on an empty stomach.