A New Study Shows That Single iPhone Users Judge The Shit Out Of Single Android Users When They Cross Paths

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Mic – A Match.com survey of 5,509 single men and women aged 18 years and older found a relationship between smartphones and dating preferences. Specifically, iPhone users are 21 times more likely to judge their Android counterparts more negatively. Android users are judgment-filled too, but at a lesser rate: They are just 15 times more likely to judge others for their Apple handset.

Think device upgrades don’t matter? The survey found, regardless of iPhone or Android, that those with older models of smartphones are 56% less likely to score a date. Women are pickier in this department, as they are 92% more likely to judge their dates negatively for having an older model phone.

Other phone related tips: keep your cracked screen hidden or repaired — 14% of singles don’t like a cracked screen — and and considering turning off the audio that clicks when you type, as this also annoys 14% of singles.

The survey also shed some insight into how people perceive others who use their phones on a date. Of those surveyed, 75% of singles said they would be turned off if their date answered their phone without offering up an explanation and 66% would be turned off if their date texted someone.

Well it’s nice to get confirmation of some of the least surprising news ever. I’d say maybe this survey erred a little more on the judgmental side — 66% of you fucks can’t deal with someone sending a text? As long as I’m still participating in the conversation, the occasional text has got to happen — but there’s nothing even remotely surprising about people judging Android phones. I had to change a group text to an Android green group text after one guy got that new Pixel phone, one dude went over his SMS limit since iMessage didn’t previously count against that, someone needed a Google Voice number, just a mess all around. But for friends it’s whatever, maybe the text has lost some luster but it’s still just dudes being dudes in a new poorer color.

But for a potential mate? If I’m a chick and I see green text coming back at me I’m hitting the door. As a guy I’d keep more of an open mind because the goals remain the same whether or not she’s on Google Play or not. But I definitely would keep a skeptical mind just out of not knowing what an Android woman is capable of. Huge nerd? Maybe easily swayed by a low caliber ex? Crazy chick murderer? It’s really all an option given the small sample size. Even feminists don’t go Android and you just know they have some sort of patriarchal reason they’d love to shit on Apple, that says it all right there. Go green and tuck your dick away forever because no one from the opposite sex wants you, now we know that with 100% certainty. Sorry Kermit.

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