Airplane Armrest Battle Featuring Man Vs. Woman, Both Lawyers
Daily Mail- A video has captured the moment that two flight passengers claiming to be lawyers got into a vicious row over an arm rest.
Footage taken by another flier shows the man and woman shouting at each other as the flight crew desperate tries to calm them down.
Many of the other passengers on the plane, believed to be a Monarch Airways flight from Gatwick to Malaga in Spain, can he heard laughing as the pair’s feud escalates.
Ah, the old armrest controversy. A territorial dispute more contentious than the Israel-Palestine fight over Gaza. The same question is asked in both debates: How could such a thin sliver of real estate be the source of so much violence? Well, if you’ve ever been on an airplane, you understand the stakes. The armrest is the one piece of luxury for those of us relegated to the coach cabin. It’s the reason people board the plane as soon as they possibly can, because experienced travelers know that the armrest is a first-come, first-served prize. You need to sit down and establish your claim, because whomever lays their fat forearm on that 2-inch divider will own it for the rest of that flight.
This guy completely understands what he’s playing for. He starts by saying “we’re ARGUING… OVER… AN ARMREST.” In other words, my mind is telling me this is dumb, but there is no way in hell I can let it go because it’s too important. His problem, however, is that he goes 0-60 too quickly and leaves no room for further escalation. Everyone knows you build your airplane argument by gradually raising your voice so that people are terrified when you’re screaming in the end. If you start yelling from the beginning, you’ve shown your hand too early. Still, this exchange was one for the ages:
“Please, relocate her. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Don’t raise your voice! Stop spitting on me! I’m a lawyer.”
“And I’m a lawyer too, you stupid woman!”
Followed by a (Greek?) passenger contributing a perfect “ooh-pahhh.”
Is there anything more annoying than when a woman a tells you not to raise your voice? That has nothing to do with the argument. Come up to my level because I can’t come back down; I’ve come too far.
As far as this video goes, I’m not sure whose side I’m on. To render a fair ruling, I would need to see a map of the armrest, a timeline of its colonization, and the forearm measurements for both parties. The guy’s whiney voice annoys me, but I’m suspicious that the woman is irrational because she’s a woman. In the end, I’m probably in the gentleman’s corner.
“Window gets an armrest and a wall. Middle gets two armrests. Aisle gets an armrest and a little bit of extra leg. We’re not fucking animals; we live in a society.”- Jim Jefferies