Daily Mail- It sounds like a job too good to be true. One of the world’s leading chocolate brands is looking for a professional chocolate taster, who can provide honest feedback on their products. Mondelez, who own Cadbury’s, Milka and Oreo, need someone they can trust to try out new products and tell them what they think. The job, with the official title of ‘Chocolate and Cocoa Beverage Taster’ requires seven and a half hours a week between Tuesdays and Thursdays from the lucky candidate. The professional sweet treat checker will be working with 11 panelists and a panel leader in the company’s Reading office.
According to the job description, the taster will need to be able to ‘taste chocolate and cocoa beverage products and give objective and honest feedback’ and ‘work within a team of panelists to share opinions and collaborate to reach an agreement on taste’. The taster’s job will be ‘key in helping Mondelez perfect and launch an entirely new product all over the world’.
Those interested in applying must have a ‘passion for confectionery and taste buds for detection’ and be eager to try new products.
According to the company’s LinkedIn page, it’s an entry level job, so years worth of chocolate tasting may not be necessary.
Listen, I realize I have a great job. I write about sports, pop culture, and nonsense all day. My coworkers are some of the funniest people I have ever met. And we have so many people willing to work here for free, I think the number of interns outnumbers full-time employees on any given day.
But nonetheless, this taste testing job may be my actual calling in life. Despite it being an entry level job, I clearly have significant experience for the job. Exhibits A-ZZZ are my 15 second food reviews. Quick, to the point, sometimes weird, sometimes really weird.
And I clearly have the body that lets you know I take my junk food seriously.
Trusting a skinny person to taste test chocolate is like trusting a bald barber to cut your hair.
So consider this blog my job application and resume, Mondelez. I’m sure someone from the company reads Barstool since we have been on Comedy Central, ESPN, took over the Patriots parade, and recently acquired the moon. And just for the record, if I get the position, I will not be moving anywhere near England because I’ve heard the food STINKS over there. A man’s got to have a code. If I can work for a multimedia giant like Barstool from the New York burbs, I can shove candy and cookies down my gullet from there as well. But I wouldn’t be opposed to making a trip across the pond to meet the clucking Cadbury bunny. That’s bucket list stuff.