Barstool’s Soccer Preview – ‘MERICA (F-Yeah) versus Jamaica Mon
Sam’s Safe Space For Soccer Stoolies
Hi haters,
Lots to get to today with a full weekend of foot fairy action coming up AND quite possibly the greatest, biggest, most important soccer game the USMNT will ever play today, this week, this month and so far this year!
Now I know some people came here to learn up on about the Red, White & Blue boys but could give two shits about EPL, and Barstool’s extremely on-the-ball and tech-savvy analytics team assures me there is a massive international following that wants the lowdown on EPL without the bother of info on the US national team… so, because I am a man of the people, I’ve devised a plan to split this into two separate blogs – the USMNT/Jamaica in this one, and EPL (and rest of Europe) in one to follow shortly.
All in favor? Oops, doesn’t matter. This ain’t a democracy. Now let’s get to it…
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USMNT
Reminder of what happened on Sunday:
Yeah, not much to say about that. It was ugly. It was slow. It was disappointing. It was a January friendly being played by a bunch of MLS guys who hadn’t played a competitive match in months. In conclusion: it is what it is.
In terms of who stood out, Darlington Nagbe at least tried to do things going forward and Graham Zusi looked decent at right back. However, let’s keep in mind this was against a bunch of prepubescent Serbians. So what to look for today?
Welp, I’ll be honest, I did not see this coming. Bruce essentially took everybody that was on the bench on Sunday and threw them on the field for today. I think it’s safe to say this is a strictly experimental squad in which the coach is basically saying: “Okay kids and guys who Klinsmann hated, let’s see what ya got!!!”
– Luis Robles getting the gloves. Wouldn’t read too much into it with all the injuries and absences but a good performance could move him up the depth chart.
– Zimerman and Villafana starting in the back. Go get ‘em youngens.
– DAX IS BACK. Long time no see, homey.
– Morris and Agudelo up top has some potential, will be interesting to see how they work together. Keep in mind, Jozy was hamstrung by being all alone up top so tough to judge him too harshly.
IMPORTANT REMINDER: This Jamaican squad is missing all kinds of starters as well, so really all that matters is how the US looks.
Prediction: USMNT to win 3-0
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So there we have it. REAL quick, REAL dirty preview of a game in which the score pales in importance to how the team looks. EPL/weekend preview posting shortly.
Holler,
Samuel Army