Tiger Woods Withdraws In Dubai, Cue My Suicide Watch

Is it 3:03 in the morning? Yes. Am I a Tiger Woods fanboy? Yes. Am I the cohost of the #1 sports podcast in the universe? Yes. Did I just find out Tiger Woods withdrew from the Dubai desert tournament classic shit with back issues after having two back surgeries over a year ago? Yes. And now I want to kill myself.

For weeks I’ve been writing “hey he doesn’t have to win or make cuts or even hit the ball on property, he just has to stay healthy.” Well withdrawing from the fucking Dubai Classic thing after one round is not staying healthy.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. His agent is calling them “back spasms” and not a nerve situation right now. Don’t know if I buy that but because I’m here to Make Sundays Great Again I definitely buy it. Tiger’s Masters odds just got a lot more appealing.

PS — I’m not necessarily a pot-stirrer, but the haters will say not a bad day to miss…