You Know What's Worse Than Finding A Rattlesnake In Your Toilet? Finding 23 More Rattlesnakes Under Your House

CNN- What do you do if you find a snake in your toilet? If you’re Isac Mcfadden, you go get your mom. The young boy from Abilene, Texas, woke up Tuesday morning and headed to the bathroom. To his surprise, he found a rattlesnake slithering up his toilet bowl, WFMY reports. “I found this big clump, and I knew it was a snake,” said Isac.

He quickly called his mom, Cassie Mcfadden, who recruited one of Isac’s older brothers to get a shovel to kill the snake. “I was just like, what do you do with this? What do you do with this? I don’t know!” Cassie told the station. Cassie Mcfadden killed the snake while dad, Jason, called Big Country Snake Removal. When the technician arrived, he found 24 Western diamondback rattlesnakes — 13 in the cellar, five adults and five babies underneath the house, and the one snake in the toilet, which had entered through a relief pipe.

We hear a lot on Podfathers just how great Chaps has it in Texas. The land is cheaper than dirt. It’s almost always warm. Everything is bigger (okay Chaps hasn’t said that, but I bet he thinks it all the time because all Texans do).

But this story is the other side of the coin for living in Texas. For every 70 degree day and brand new McMansion that is like $200,000, you have to worry about every person you see being armed to the gills and the gaggle of poisonous creatures that ready to literally get all up in your ass. I mean the first time you look down and see a rattlesnake in your toilet is the last time you shit in peace. We are at our most vulnerable on the porcelain throne. You have to relax when you are on the toilet or else you will burn your o-ring out before you know it. But the first time you see one of those spineless demons swimming around and shaking his death rattle in the john will ensure you get the goosebumps (the bad kind) every time you take a shit for the rest of your life.

And there is nothing this family can do other than burn down the entire house, right? If 24 rattlesnakes got in once, they can sure as shit get in again. And now that this story has gone viral, everyone is going to know your house is the House of 1000 Rattlesnakes. I’m pretty sure sites like Zillow make you list stuff like two dozen fucking rattlesnakes made it inside, banged, and hatched eggs. If push came to shove, I think I’d rather live in a house where people were murdered instead of where two dozen snakes once resided. Ghosts can only haunt you so much. But rattlesnakes can actually kill you and turn you into a ghost before you are ready to become a ghost.

h/t upm