Final Ollie Update: She Was At The Zoo THE ENTIRE TIME

This bitch Ollie! She got out! She was home free! The world was her oyster! And what did she do? She plopped her ass down in the bushes and took a nap.

You’re in the cage day in and day out, walking around your little habitat while little snotty kids pretend to care. But meanwhile, every animal dreams of the day they escape. It’s like a prisoner sharpening a pinecone for years to make it sharp enough to tunnel out. Ollie made her escape. And like a big dumb cat, fell asleep right there in the bushes and never even left the zoo. Fuckin’ Ollie. Had the world at her fingertips and blew it.

The other theory is Ollie did, in fact, get out of the zoo, saw it was 20 degrees with feminist protestors crowding the streets, and was like nah I’m good fam, and took her ass back to the zoo. Just said “oh hailllll no, I’d rather those humans keep feeding me around the clock than spend one more night in DC trying to catch my own mice.” Fair play by Ollie if so, fair play.