Adriana Lima Calling Julian Edelman "My Lover" Has Me All Hot And Bothered

First, shoutout to Edelman for ripping this page out of the Brady playbook: get a smoke pregnant and have a kid with her but still have enough game to land a Victoria’s Secret model. That shit is hard enough, let alone when you’ve got a child.

More importantly, “lover” is the fucking hottest thing a girl can call you. I don’t care what stage you’re at in the relationship, getting called “lover” is fucking dope. Goodness gracious is that sexy. It’s naughty and erotic and cultured/exotic because American girls NEVER say that shit. But when you’re getting called lover you know it’s on and poppin. “Babe” is just a short way of saying we’re annoying at parties. “Boyfriend”? That means we’re trying to make this seem legit but we both know it’s probably not gonna work. “Husband?” We pretty much hate each other. But “lover”? People who call each other lover are fucking. They’re doing interesting shit and getting sweaty and are probably gonna sneak into the bathroom at some point for a quickie. That’s where you want to be. Don’t look for true love or bullshit like that, aim to be someone’s “lover.”