The Fappening Guy Is Going To Jail For 9 Months For Giving Us All Of The Celebrity Nudes

jen lawrence

PageSix- A federal judge has sentenced a Chicago man to nine months in prison for hacking the electronic accounts of 30 celebrities and stealing private information, including nude videos and photos. Edward Majerczyk on Tuesday also was ordered to pay $5,700 in restitution for counseling services for one undisclosed celebrity victim whose photos were disseminated online. Majerczyk is accused of orchestrating a phishing scheme that illegally accessed more than 300 email and other online accounts, including those belonging to actress Jennifer Lawrence.

In the nude game there are 3 different sectors of nudes that I’ve learned about- random people nudes, celebrity nudes, and people you know nudes. People you know are obviously the most valuable, but not far behind are celebrity nudes. They’re pretty fantastic. You see these people in movies and tv shows amongst other things and then boom..before you know it they’re naked. It’s like having the super powers you always dreamed of. Despite how bad I felt on the moral side (I swear!), The Fappening was probably one of the best days of my life. Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, Kaley Cuoco, you name it…they were there. There were so many great nudes released that day I was almost inclined to e-mail Mr. Skin and ask for my membership money back. No use for that bullshit in a post-Fappening world.

Now all that being said, and my love for nudes aside, theres a line you can’t cross. You can’t hack, that’s some psycho shit. Am I glad he did? Sure, we’re all in the Trust Tree and we all enjoyed them. But at the same time, you know who would probably hack into phones to get nudes if he was alive today? Ted Bundy. It’s a little terrifying that seeing all these nudes was worth 9 months behind bars for Edward Majerczyk. And be honest, that doesn’t even sound like enough time. The wildest thing is apparently the maximum sentencing for this offense is 5 years. What in the WORLD does someone have to do to get 5 years if this only warranted 9 months?