Mop-Masked Man Terrifies Family Because He Needed An Egg To Bake A Cake
PORT ST. LUCIE — A man accused of having a mop on his head was arrested after a neighbor reported the mop-wearing man “terrified his entire family,” a police report states.
James Dizney Fields, 58, of Southeast Marsh Avenue in Port St. Lucie, was arrested on a disturbing the peace charge after the Jan. 13 incidents .Police found the alleged mop man, identified as Fields, as he threw paper on a fire in his garage.
Police communicated with Fields, who is hearing impaired, by writing.
Asked why he knocked at the neighboring home with a mop on his face, Fields stated, “Because I was born a comedian … and I liked to tease people … I was short of an egg and needed eggs to make a cake.”
I dont get what the big deal is with this case. So my man Dizney needed an egg. You ever tried googling the substitute for an egg if you are missing one for a recipe? Sure the internet will give you all kinds of “fixes.” Some will say oil, or butter, hell I’ve even seen some sites say avocado can be used as an egg substitute. The most popular substitute is banana but I dont wanna get into it any further than that. None of these substitutes give you the same type of density that you are looking for in a cake. That’s a fact.
Having no viable remedies, Dizney is left between a rock and a hard place. What does he do about it? He doesn’t drive to the store drunk to get an egg. Drinking and driving is wrong, in case you forgot. Dizney acts like a responsible hearing impaired adult and heads to his neighbor’s house. Neighbor code demands that you cant ask for an egg without giving something in return, so he brings with him a barrel of laughs by doing the ole mop on the head trick. Classic!
Things spiral out of control quickly, and I don’t think we can blame Dizney at all. To the hearing impaired, the shrieks and screams of a family could appear to bouts of uproarious laughter and joy. So when Dizney sees the family laughing, he just keeps on pounding those windows and the laughter gets stronger and stronger. Dizeny thinks he’s creating family dreams but, unbeknownst to him, he’s creating nightmares and gets his ass thrown in jail all because he doesn’t like dense ass cake. Sad!