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Missed The Cut: Barstool Headquarters Official Bathroom Review

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Nothing clears out a night of drinking like a few dozen trips to the bathroom. I am now prepared to give you my thoughts on Barstool HQ bathroom. Now, on first glance this bathroom is great. It has a fancy free floating toilet paper roll holder which is wonderful for new toilet paper rolls. Toilet paper companies are getting outrageous with the size of the rolls. Double. Triple. Quadruple. When will it stop? I just want the TP to fit nicely on the holder and spin freely when the roll is brand new. I don’t feel like that is too much to ask. I’m a big fan of the TP stand.

The selection of Dude Wipes to clean up is absolutely clutch. I woke up on the floor of the office and there is no shower here but there is a selection of Dude Products shower wipes. Let me say this. I feel like a spring day after that wipe down. I’m no stranger to baby wipe shower and this baby wipe shower takes a backseat to no one. I didn’t change my underwear but I don’t even feel grimy in my nether region (talkin bout my penis).

The bathroom is well stocked, nicely tiled, and spacious to a very acceptable level.

But damn man. Bathrooms are like real estate. It’s all about location location location. You cant have a bathroom right here.

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Poor Louis. Dude is right in the epicenter of the shit zone. I think that toilets have the same rules as a 60mm grenade. If you’re within 5 meters of the toilet, you’re in the kill zone. 15 meters and you are in the casuality zone but it wont kill you. Louis is danger close at best. For that reason and that reason alone the Barstool HQ bathroom is reduced 2 full points. It’s a 6.9 bathroom. If it was in a better location we are looking at an 8.9 bathroom. The rating on the bathroom will be the first ever floating score. If no one is here, like at 3am when I woke up and needed to use it, the score will be higher.