I did it, you guys. I fucking did it. “Avril Lavigne Is Very Upset With Mark Zuckerberg For Bullying Nickelback”, the whitest headline of 2016. I didn’t know I had it in me on the last work day of the year, but god dammit I pulled it off.
So what is this all about?
If you recall, Zuck built a robot, Jarvis, to control everything in his house. In a video demonstrating what that robot is capable of, he asked it to play a good Nickelback song. Jarvis then replies that he can’t do that, for there are no good Nickelback songs. OHHHHHHHHH SNAPPPPPPPPPPP.
Well, Avril Lavigne, who was once married to the Nickelback guy, does not appreciate that joke one little Canadian bit. #NickelbackHasSoldOver50MillionAlbums for Pete’s sake. How dare Zuckerberg come after them like that.
The thing is, everyone has already heard the “Nickelback stinks” jokes. He didn’t exactly say anything new. It’s not like in 40 Year Old Virgin where they forever tainted Coldplay by saying if you listen to Coldplay you’re gay. That shit ain’t right. Cause Coldplay is 10000x better than Nickelback.
But anyway, laugh out loud funny for Avril to tweet this open letter to Facebook about Zuckerberg bullying Nickelback. How fucking embarrassing, to even say Zuckerberg is bullying you. Nickelback is a rock band and this chick Avril Lavigne is crying about them being bullied. It makes Zuckerberg more right to take shots at him than he was before. All Nickelback has to do, kinda like JJ Watt, is play along, make jokes about themselves, and then people will get tired of making fun of them. But instead, they have Avril Lavigne tweeting about bullying.
PS: Sk8er Boi is a jam and a half
PS: So is Complicated