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MTV Tweets Out Video Of 2017 New Years Resolutions For White Men

I’m sure this video is supposed to get me all fired up and I should be saying things like “Can you imagine if a bunch of white people made a video suggesting changes that black people needed to make!” But I’ll be honest I’m too busy living my life as a privileged white dude to get mad about this stuff. Im just out here working my job that was easy to get and patiently waiting for a raise and promotion that I know is coming because I dont have any sort of invisible ceiling. And pardon me if I’m mansplaining to you how my life works as a white male. I’m just too woke and need to share. Dunno about black lives mattering or blue lives mattering all I know is my life matters and its pretty f’n sweet so I cant get all bent out of shape about a lame MTV video.

But this dude right here has the official response that everyone needs to see:

White, black. Male, female. You make a video this stupid you deserve to get called out for lazy race baiting.

But, there are 2 things that specifically bother me about this video though that need to be addressed.

1) Mansplaining – out of all the shit that girls and feminists complain about, this one takes the cake. I dont even really understand it. Are you just complaining about people being condescending assholes? Because, that, I can understand. If some dude is talking to you like you’re a fucking idiot and is explaining something to you in a patronizing tone and treating you like a child because they assume they are smarter than you, then yes, thats insulting and annoying. But thats just called being an asshole. Its not specifically men, or white men, that do that. My wife does that shit to me all the time. A lot of wives do that to men. We dont call that “Wifesplaining.” We call that “being a fucking pain in my ass.” If people dont understand something and I need to explain it to them, thats not a racial or sexist catastrophe, ok?

2) MTV is such fucking trash now its really disappointing. I think my generation is the last one that can remember when MTV was one of the most important channels on the cable guide. It was ESPN and MTV for the first like decade-plus of my life. Music videos used to be an art form. The yearly countdowns and eventually shows like TRL were very important. Shows like Singled Out. Special events like Rock N Jock. MTV Sports. The Grind. Spring Break. Fuck even MTV News and my man Kurt Loder used to be pretty important. But every generation after mine cant imagine MTV being anything other than some trash ass station with lazy skit shows like “____ Code.” Sad! We need to Make Music Television Great Again!

PS – Was that “Mansplaining” what MTV used to be?