Remember That Time AJ Pierzynski Interfered In A Wrestling Match By Hitting A Dude Over The Head With Home Plate?
All-time classic right here. When you win the World Series, you get all the attention in the world. The Cubs have been everywhere from Saturday Night Live, to Jimmy Kimmel, to Jimmy Fallon, to Stephen Colbert, and everywhere in between. When the White Sox won the World Series in 2005, noted douchebag AJ Pierzynski went on TNA Impact Wrestling, because fuck it. When you’re white trash, you’ve gotta own it. AJ wasn’t gonna sit next to David Letterman in a suit; he was gonna put on the ol’ ChiSox jersey and smoke some jobber in the dome with home plate.
A few things stuck out to me here. First, even after winning the World Series, TNA was the best promotion that Pierzynski could do? Come on, man. WWE or bust. It actually makes sense, though. Vince McMahon loves stars, and that 2005 White Sox team had zero. Who was the biggest name on that team, Paul Konerko? Yikes. Don’t get me wrong — good player, good career, but nobody cares about Paul Konerko outside of one half of one city in the United States.
Also, I never knew that Johnny Damon and Pierzynski were boys. Those dudes must have some WILD stories. We’re talking about two guys with the combined IQ of a platypus, who can also slam beers at a rate that would kill most moderately-sized animals.
But now that I’m thinking about World Series champs getting involved in pro wrestling, I’m trying to think of who I’d most like to see at WrestleMania from this year’s Cubs team. Aroldis Chapman would get a TON of heel heat for that whole domestic violence thing, and he kind of looks the part, too.
But you’re out of your mind if you think I’m not picking Munenori Kawasaki. I know he wasn’t on the postseason roster, and only played 14 games at the major league level this year, but it still counts. He just drips charisma, and he’d cut the most electric promos you’ve ever seen in your life that it wouldn’t even matter what his in-ring ability was like. I’m surprised Vince hasn’t already reached out. He loves funny Asian stereotypes. Munenori was made for the WWE.