Cee Lo Admitted That His Phone Didn't Really Blow Up In His Face

I was hoping that video was real. Praying even. Sure I didn’t want that weirdo Cee Lo to be dead. Actually I don’t know if I cared that he was alive, but I would have felt bad laughing at his death. I don’t know. Anyway, I feel like I cracked the case once I realized that the movie playing in that video was the twist ending from Usual Suspects. Plus no big man would fall down with that much grace after a fireball blew up in their face. Gravity is not that kind to us larger folks.

Regardless, the big story here is that nobody is ever going to take a Cee Lo viral video seriously again. Or any celebrity, to be honest. If a video comes out tonight of George Clooney getting gored by a bull, the internet will be making fun of him instantly and Ben McAdoo will probably show it to his players for motivation before tomorrow’s Lions game. Cee Lo just cried wolf for all of Hollywood to help promote a song or a music video or some shit. People will do anything to get those Facebook Live subscribes and shares, smh.

Also this may not have been a wise move since Death is on an all-time hot streak in 2016. That son of a bitch has gotten so cocky that he is even settling old scores with longtime rivals.

P.S. The people at Samsung and Apple must be pissssssed. If Cee Lo is found dead of unknown causes tomorrow, we can all agree that the murder makes some sort of phone, right? Or we can all just act like Cee Lo is dead, get #RIPCeeLo to trend on every social media platform, and watch him fade into bolivian.

h/t Jordan