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The Midwest Is Colder Than Mars Right Now

I’m not one to complain about cold weather. I don’t mind it actually. I like big coats and winter hats and pretending to blow cigarette smoke outta my mouth when I breathe. All good things. I’m even on record saying that I don’t trust a person if they haven’t lived through at least 10 winters. I stand by that. It’s a good rule of thumb. Cold weather and snow and ice builds character. Not all winters are created equal but if you’ve been through at last 10 of them that means there have been some HORRIFIC winters sprinkled in during that stretch. Also, snow makes me happy cause I’m a big dumb idiot. I’m a huge snow angel guy and I’m great at them. And there’s something seriously wrong with you if you can’t find beauty in the first snow fall of the year. It’s awesome. But with alllllllllllll that said, the fact that it’s colder in the Midwest than it is on Mar is kinda fucked up. I’m sure it has happened before but the headline “It’s Colder In The Midwest Than It Is On Mars” rubbed me the wrong way. What happened to all that global warming I’ve been hearing so much about? I might start siding with climate change doubters if it doesn’t warm up soon

And look at this forecast for Sunday

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You read that correctly. The HIGH on Sunday is supposed to be negative six degrees. That’s fake life shit. Again, I don’t mind cold weather and it has it’s positives, but that’s just too fucking cold.