Not this time, Casey Affleck. No dice, Andrew Garfield. You might as well make plans for Academy Award night, Denzel. We have our winner for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor Oscar, 2016. And the Oscar goes to … Rob Gronkowski, “American Violence.”
Who knew he had this kind of range? He can walk out of a car. He can run while yelling. Manhandle a guy like he’s Sergio Brown and throw him up against an SUV. And he can point a gun and pull the trigger. He’s a quintuple threat. Like a bigger, more athletic Daniel Day Lewis.
Granted, I’m just going by the trailer here. But my guess is, Gronk will steal the movie from Bruce Dern and Denise Richards. And deliver the best performance by a Patriots player in a motion picture since Brandon Lloyd in the zombie epic “After Effect”:
…or Tom Brady and his wang in “Ted 2″:
But it really does look like Gronk’s tour de force, breakout debut in the Action genre will top them all. And with chops like his, I wouldn’t type cast him. I can see RomComs, costumed period dramas or SciFi/Fantasy work in his future. Anyway, he’s already better than Denise Richards ever was.