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Not A Fan Carpool Karaoke But I Will Watch The Shit Out Of Anything Featuring Bruno Mars

Grump Alert: I absolutely DESPISED carpool karaoke when it came out. It’s since grown on me to where I at least respect the bit (mostly thanks to me being a sheep and not wanting to be the only person in the universe on the outside looking in). But that’s not even here nor there, because Bruno Mars is one of those generational dudes you just have to stop and watch – No matter what. Remember him during the Super Bowl? This guy is the closest thing to a non-child-groping Michael Jackson as this Earth will ever see. Pure electricity every time he performs. He’s just as cool as Justin Timberlike but may be getting close to having that supernatural aura of Prince. James Cordon does his best to hold the little man down with coffee talk, but then Bruno whips out some Elvis and the van almost explodes in flames. I think the only detriment Bruno brings to the table is he’s not hard enough to the point white people feel uncomfortable about singing and dancing to his music in public. I’ve seen many good men fall to a Honkey’s death on the wedding dance floor, including myself. A very sad scene, indeed. #UptownWhiteFunk has no place in this life or the next.