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Steelers Footballs Were Way Underinflated But The World is Trying to Ignore Deflategate 2


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PFTNo, the Giants did not make a “formal complaint” about the Steelers using underinflated footballs last Sunday. Yes, the Giants alerted the league office to the team’s belief that two of the footballs recovered via turnovers were measured below the 12.5 PSI minimum.

Per a source with knowledge of the situation, one ball was measured at 11.4 PSI and the other ball was measured at 11.8 PSI.

Both turnovers came in the second half. The Giants recovered a fumble with 7:12 to play in the third quarter and intercepted a pass with 44 seconds left in the third quarter.

Well that does it. You’re screwed now, Steelers. It looks like it’s lights out for you, NFL. This’ll settle your hash, Roger Goodell. Go ahead and scream, all you Deflategate Truthers and Anti-science Flat Earthers, there’s nobody around for miles to hear you! Bwhahaha! Patriots fans have you right where we want you.

Oh, wait. The Giants did not make a “formal complaint”? They “alerted the league office” but it wasn’t done formally? Never mind. I mean, sure for two years we’ve been told that the PSI in the footballs went right to the core of the integrity of the sport. That there’s no way a game can be on the level with under-inflated balls. Of course, Aaron Rodgers over-inflating them was a punchline. But slightly under inflated? You might as well be watching the 1919 World Series or a fixed boxing match.

But that only matters if one of the teams files a formal complaint. If they didn’t, then it’s like it never happened. Those are the rules. Anti-quitsies, you’re it, quitsies, no anti-quitsies, no startsies, triple stamp, no erasies, touch blue make it true. So let’s just stop wasting our precious time giving a rat’s taint about 1.1 lousy PSI in the Steelers’ ball.

Besides, Roethlisberger made a joke about playing with a Nerf ball. Mike Tomlin said “We’ll cooperate fully with whatever New York wants to do in regards to that. We have absolutely nothing to hide. It’s a non-story for us.” ESPN hasn’t mentioned it one time today. Not once. And that should be good enough for us.

Now with that sarcasm out of my system, you cannot call yourself a Patriots fan and still let Deflategate 2 go. You just can’t. People like Jay Glazer roll their eyes and say “Here we go again” because they got sick of our Deflategate? Fuck you. We’ll decide when to drop it. The whole thing was an argument we did not start, and as soon as we were winning it the rest of the world tried to pull the old “Can we stop talking about this?” and they can’t get away with it. With this new version, there is no way the anti-Patriots witch hunters can win the debate. If the Pats’ balls were deflated by someone on purpose, then so were the Steelers. If the Steelers’ were done by the Ideal Gas Law, so were the Patriots’. Roethlisberger’s and Tomlin’s denials are the exact same as Brady’s and Belichick’s. There is no logical or ethical way you can split that baby. So they’ll try to ignore it, cover it up and deny it. And I for one will refuse to let them. I’ll die before I let Deflategate 2 die.

This committee owes an apology! This committee owes an apology! Apology, Senator!