Teen Vogue (Yes, I Said Teen Vogue) Is Going Right At Donald Trump's Fuckin' Neck

Oh shit! Talk to em, Teen Vogue!

I don’t know who the hell Lauren Duca is, but I assume she’s the Andie Andersen (love to start my Mondays off by ripping a nice How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days reference) of Teen Vogue? Sick and tired of writing bubbly stories about gimp bracelets and Tamagotchis (my knowledge of teen magazines may be dated) so she decided to just publish an op-ed about how Donald Trump is fucking gas lighting America? And here’s the kicker, it’s pretty good.

Writing about Donald Trump isn’t exactly something only major news outlets are doing, so it’s not a huge surprise that Teen Vogue is in the mix. But most of the sites that don’t have press passes usually keep it pretty light. I write about Donald a lot, but I just call him an idiot when he says dumb shit, as daunting a task as that is to keep up with. I don’t do full breakdowns about how the Russian hacks, and his encouragement of them, are going to destroy our American way of life and I certainly don’t follow all his lies then cite the evidence proving them false. The whole thing is as shocking as it is impressive.

But, Donnie, if I may give some advice: watch ya ass. It’s one thing when you’ve got sensible people, such as myself, who hate you but it’s a whole new bag of tricks when teenage girls hate your orange ass. Teenage girls are the meanest beings on the planet, perhaps in the universe. If they don’t like you they will take two seconds, find the one thing you’re most self-conscious about in this world, then use it to rip you apart from the inside. They’re devastating creatures. They fucking make classmates kill themselves using only their Twitter app, that might technically count as a superpower. Ever seen someone say something bad about Justin Bieber on the internet? For weeks they’ll have chicks in Hllister shirts destroying their mentions calling them ugly and stupid, that hurts more than you’d think. I know Donald is a big, tough guy. The biggest and toughest, in fact, he’ll tell you. But he should tread lightly when dealing with this gang. Teenage girls are dangerous, dangerous folk.