— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) December 11, 2016
Giants tested 2 footballs they questioned PSI levels vs Steelers and then alerted league office they were deflated. Please noooooooooo!!!!! — Jay Glazer (@JayGlazer) December 11, 2016
The Steelers may or many not have played with under-inflated footballs? There’s only one rational course of action: Nationwide hysteria. Cue the network newscasts pushing Trump, the economy and ISIS off the lead in order to make this the biggest story in the country. Alert Ted Wells to start running up those billable hours. Once more into the breach, dear friends of calling out Ben Roethlisberger for being a cheater, Mike Tomlin and arrogant fraud who can’t win if he’s not breaking rules. Followed by class action lawsuits. Talk of the government getting involved. Leaks of false information discrediting Pittsburgh from inside the league to spineless ESPN lapdogs who’ll report it without questioning it. Demands for all the information on Roethlisberger’s phone. And let’s slap start slapping an asterisk on all those Steelers Super Bowls because this scandal will be forever [altogether now] … part of their legacy.
And so it comes to this. 31 NFL teams elevated Roger Goodell to sainthood for going after the Patriots, and now one of them is caught in their own snare. It’s like the lady in my neighborhood in Weymouth who badgered the cops to stop all the speeding out on the main road – for the children – and the first person who got nabbed was her husband. Now we’ll get to see where all that righteous indignation goes when it’s everyone’s beloved Steelers getting nabbed. The team of Art Rooney and Chuck Noll and Hines Ward, getting exposed as no better than those lowlife Patriots.
Except we know none of this will ever happen. This will be met with a collective shrug of the shoulders followed by a massive, national yawn. Because at its core, the PSI of a football never meant jack squat to anyone. Deflategate Prime was all about trying to figure out how the Patriots can compete for championships year after year and Tom Brady can continue to get better as he gets older. And to damage the Pats just to tilt the playing field towards the lesser franchises, less brilliant coaches and shitty quarterbacks. No one cared about justice then, and they won’t now in this case.
What we’ll get is some kind of excuse making. They’ll say the pressure gauges were off. Or say nothing other than exonerate the Steelers because the NFL is a totalitarian regime, run by despots that controls the media and can say or not say whatever the hell they want. What we won’t get is anything approaching the moral outrage, witch hunting and punitive, draconian punishment the Patriots suffered. And we definitely will not get Mark Brunnell crying. What we will get is this from these fucking hypocrites:
Though I swear to you, with tears in my eyes, if the league says the balls deflated naturally due to the cold weather? We riot.